Becoming someone’s full-time care provider has many emotional challenges. Dealing with unresolved past hurts makes caregiving even tougher. Therefore learning to forgive the person you’re caring can go a long way in reducing stress.
Easing emotional challenges is important when you’re providing care for someone. This is especially important for an adult child who is caring for a parent to master. It is common for the person you’re caring for to say or do things that are unpleasant. When their behavior triggers negative memories in their care provider, it makes the challenges that much more difficult to manage.
How do we learn to forgive when forgiveness is one-sided? What can we say or do to our loved ones who don’t understand their words are hurtful? That’s what this episode is all about. Caregiver Forgiveness!
My Journey to Caregiver Forgiveness
I’ve had to get past many past hurts. Currently, I do more caregiving for Mom so when she’s cranky with me it stings. The feeling of being unappreciated is very hard to get past, but she’s not going to change. Her lack of awareness of how her words are hurtful will never improve. Because of this, I have had to learn how to let her words just flow past me.
Having learned to “hear the emotion” has saved me a lot of frustration. Learning how to react to my Mom’s needs versus clinging to our “old” relationship has enabled better communication even as her verbal skills have declined. Listening to my conversation with Susanne and reading her blog will allow you some freedom from common emotional challenges.
More About Susanne & Caregiver Help
My guest for this episode is Susanne White. Learning how she went from butting heads to understanding her Mom is very enlightening. Susanne is the author of the blog Caregiver Warrior and is working on publishing her first book.
Going from butting heads with her Mother to becoming her caregiver was a big challenge. Subsequently, she became aware that changing her expectations would make her caregiving journey just a bit easier. Certainly, we can understand that changing the behavior of someone living with dementia is impossible. Alternatively, the only behavior we can change is our own.
For example, I used to respond to the question “does my husband know where I am?” with “yes Mom, Dad knows you’re with me.” Two minutes later I’d get the same question. Consequently, I’d become irritated which made my Mom uneasy. Learning to respond differently made a huge difference. To clarify, Mom was looking for reassurance that my Dad (deceased) would not be angry if he didn’t find her at home as expected. After becoming aware of that I’ve changed my response and get that question far less often.
Likewise, you will gain an understanding of emotional challenges and how to make them less stressful just by listening to this episode.
Find Susanne at:
More info for caregivers:
Where Else To Find Fading Memories
Also, check out our new YouTube channel where you can see us in action!