A podcast that listens, hears, and offers wisdom & hope from caregivers who have lived the experience.

A Supportive Podcast for those Dealing with a loved one with Memory Loss

Engaging Activities for Every StageEngaging Activities for Every Stage

Engaging Activities for Every Stage

00:00:01 – 00:05:00

Welcome to fading memories. A podcast with advice wisdom and hope from caregivers who have lived the experience and survive to tell the tale. Think of us as your caregiver. Best friend today’s podcast is presented by pago. Pago is the easiest way for you to monetize your podcast providing podcasters with a flat rate for ad space. So you always know how much you get when you include an ad from pago apply to become a member and immediately be connected with advertisers that fit your audience. That’s pago dot co at p. o. d. Go dot co and be sure to fadi memories in the. How did you hear about pugo section of the application. If it weren’t for today’s guest there might never have been a fading memories. Podcast i search high and low for ways to engage with mom and came up short every time. If i had had the list that you’re about to hear it might have been different story for. Both of us. Activities are an essential tool for caregivers. Our loved ones need the stimulation. Suitable engaging activities will provide them with enjoyment challenges away to pass the time constructively and helping keep them happy. If you find the right activity you may discover a way to give them a sense of purpose. We all need to feel useful for. We become very unpleasant people. So grab a pen. And paper and buckle up. Because you’re in very fast paced information packed episode on the podcast. Today is loretta dini. And she’s gonna talk to us about activities for alzheimer’s at every stage. So thanks for joining me. Loretta gonna be fun today. Thank you so much more heavy being so tell us about yourself. I know that your still carrying for your mom so this is near ohrid goodness teen. Oh boy for us. I know right so yeah really been you a lot of stuff. Fifteen years is a long long time. And it’s one of the reasons i tell people you know you think okay. Well i’ll just take time off of work or i’ll cutback work and and do what i need to do. For the short period of time fifteen years ain’t short. It’s it’s a long time. And i think you know when you really think about it. You’re like wow. This is a monster. But she’d been so you know for the most part but most sell cheese. You know had a really tough summer. And that’s when the Engaging activity you know really came into play because you know she had such a tough summer and But we’ve been able to really do some bridgestone does she. Even though i couldn’t do a lot you know with her mother. The kobe is talking about. But we were able to Have you know a lot of virtual house. If you wanna call it you know being able to at least looks through some of the things. We already had a lot of money and just try to work with some things that you already have around the house. So that’s one of the biggest thing. Nothing best one of the greatest mistakes that i made when she was first diagnosed or all this stuff and just reminded me so much gina christmas in open their stock and dinner round. Like okay. what else you got. You opened it already. So nickname for properties and dimensions. Very much like that. That is true that analogy as some one of the things. I say over and over in the presentation that i do is that what works. Today may not work tomorrow and tomorrow at work the next day. So you gotta you gotta have a lotta tools in your toolbox. You do you do. And so it’s amazing that you have to spend some time thinking about and i’m really fortunate in says the group homer. Mom is you have the luxury of having this activities directed right so you know she’s able to be there so you have that but you know some people have anything so you know how i ended investigating will. These activities is just offering. Buy one new moms.

00:05:00 – 00:10:14

Sometimes the best. There’s lots of latian is not reminding us. S na and then you know what these has been cool in. A sense is really just a good presentation day. We were laughing at me about it. And i was showing an app and one of the ladies that are absent so my head. I was like this. You’re not going to your neighbors. Got key knock on picking up all your tenure or bring him on everybody’s ready to get rid of their kidnapped of course long decade. And so i guess you can do it. And she had thought of that. Because there’s so many fun apps out there that can really engage your and you know hunting but really it’s just you know about having fun and you know making no laugh on his not really anything. You spent a lot of mine sweeper. Something’s obviously are Do cost them money before. Everybody got demand you know. You could buy the musicals. Mother would being musical law and so noblet every musical known to man movie houses are back in the day king and i sound music roster brought in war and you know we no vat of movies and i did call. Supporter was working. She and just know asked mira. So that’s earned. She hasn’t been induced. I will say that the movies go across all stages and ask the first nessin really is no wherever. They loved up into the diagnosis. Keep doing it until you sitting. i don’t anymore not all mitch kingdom exercise classes. We’ll wa. Should the teachers right in the floor. Don’t act. I love that you know they can follow along. We needs you know so why all of a sudden kenneth not go there. That’s a good one for the keep doing. Yes and you know what really came down to depths back the song pass muster is. They’re take away or whatever the children embarrassed. Then having been with parents or spouse you know parent or spouse when he invited node significant other who has dementia the receiving and eventually come out but which we now. We have a fun. You know. that’s the whole you know. That’s really the whole thing. So that’s the first thing i saw when i saw talk to people about the beginning stages is really about keep doing what they do know where they’ve always done. You were talking earlier about walking adult. She walked at all as long about himself. Was going to be able to get back home. You know by themselves and you know they like ray moore. You know any other kind of car game. Keep trying to do it. I’m so they can no longer are understand the game so it’s no just one of those things that Choky bone to make a plane so as one of those things that aren’t the guest it and there’s so many websites they help you where you wanna do it with the neighbors want to the thing. I hate most ivanka. I so many things about most about it is a piece people away your best friends. Everybody stops coming. Oh we don’t have nothing to talk about long day with all of that. You know oh album all the stuff that they used to do. The imperium par. Just sit there and kind of thing. That’s how it is sometimes short. You know half hour forty five minutes where you’re just like my mom and i used to go watch kids park at the And then we go to the pool. We get really creepy. Would go watch the kids at the pool during game. I mother you know way after. She didn’t know who we were. She would love watching my though brand order tumble you know over go back up one uneven bar of imahara love back. Couldn’t tell you what was happening until you have a good time. And i think that’s one of the things so early stage. I think my chipper. We’ve really is changed. Nothing it’s true and then middle stage bass. When i think the hornets thing to talk about know in the middle states really start to see changes but now you can still try the different. Things brought interchange’s latin so if they were puzzle people crosswords. Or whatever you get. Walk mess worm known to the new york times. Not new york pass. Can’t do that on a good days. Not pro you know when you’re in the middle of and you’ve been always telling me start getting really frustrated with it. ’cause i went from the jude word. Search book the in a warrant ten on a page so cute. You’re is now with just now down. And i think those who and i had Some high school kids who used to go to my mouth before the lockdown one really cool things is just close so if think are quote for anything say tell ya bitch if he were hit with a new axe sakes you tight that out in big letters.

00:10:14 – 00:15:04

Include all the other kind of saying that and they would match the two words. Isn’t that cool. They some of allows. You can make it so i tell. People is not exposes like less than twenty dollars for your family hands. So it’s like the early bird gets the worm and you put them together and it’s a washable kind of fast and you know you could use them forever. But i was like you know. Give it to some high sleepy needs spoke ready for you know project for seniors. And then you just you know kind of making a cool game so as they start to news words courage doing more things with words so it was jobs there. So there’s a lot of those kinds of games out there like back at. Up you know. Talk to one of the things that. I love of a trainer anywhere. So i always used the fidget toys and things. Different tables reedmen deny training. People just finished it around with on you know some much noise while the classes on also i just kept us. A new film. Amount of a one pool is things las. Have these balls that you can throw around worm and car thumb ball so wherever you are for you. Catch the ball wherever your thumb lands. Thus would you discuss and so is about all kinds zone so my mom was never a big talker and especially about her so she was diagnosed. I wanted to know what she was thinking and most gaming because she was burke by dan the just the sheer book. Fear on her face when they’re documented near dimension to own s ban and that’s pretty much all. She wanted her to kinda cough for rather than she’s really excited to. Thanks used this emotions ball and he has frustrated unhappy and stared in surprise on so asked my basis so started thrown around and she would say and wanted tomorrow with a snake she ended or releasing and she said. I’m relieved as not kansan. No her sibling that cancer And i’ve heard. Wow that’s profound in in a big way so this is don’t want in getting her talk and in other that i have talked with members in a couple of support groups that i am associated rare. Is you know. Try using a hobby. They’ve always love to get them to talk about what it is so for us. It was no the lego bricks and so we just get on illegals out and what was so interesting about the lego. Rix was that in twenty four teams. You forgot who. I was Obviously as as that is one of the worst things on known as though i had a neggo kitchen. What a couple of the people on the air and she wore you know. She’s not a genome run a recognized by the way she was playing with the people and breathing. Is i have made her all of these little houses as you can see the lego person in lagos that she’s showing us it’s cool because they see have this was our favorite candy the five lakes license as took example pizzas and make that. And so what. What i think has been the profound for us and everybody can out to see it there. new york times. The washington post came to see her doing because what everybody was intrigued by is before you get off the leg if you just ask the do a puzzle domino. Whatever it was. She was pushed him around the table. And you know and do the puzzle but when you’ve got that liberals out came in a her. At one of spontaneous things happened this guy. Name rent a pbs. He came to our house. Were army these months. Have yet and you only want to set up in different rooms and i was really worried. Bigger campbell was right at her face. Ashes or cal lily viking. She never acknowledged that he was wrong. And then after we did puzzle and Let the domino them second book so we do all that he’s as well. Let’s see the bills. I could lego. She had a bag with little Tupperware thing container with her uncle her name on it and and so i was very little bigger and so border now all of a sudden she comes up and initiative. Oh lucky of anybody for two hours all day but that is how amazing are connected.

00:15:05 – 00:20:04

Because she couldn’t get out my name or that she just knows you knew me. Recognize me for screen out for the whole time you know. She was making legos and talking all very engaged. And then if we put them away and she will right back into her little blank. Stare saints three behave. Not gene is and people. Think i’ll make it up and is she doesn’t mess now. When you put the a lot of digital ways that bins and arms. And what. I do that you know kinda come alive and some then all that counts out and see to go into the whole so whenever you go so she can still pushing around. But she can’t really are make yourself make so she’s the being driven you of has age. And that’s wow she really does. I what it is unless you see it you know. I can’t believe true but it’s not that she didn’t like a pogo that she is clearly remembers the Hours and hours that we spent building you know with the active and base. And i mean any stay heseltine like little dogs every seen the dogs but his head moves you bar his tail away and she knows they all. He’s real question always is he’s not going to be on me. I just came out later. Question and i know when you ignore him. You know he can take the bar and get your attention. Rudolph so you you know. He’s sitting in the corner. You have him on. I’d say every hour you turn stay until then your bar and you could turn sounded the barcodes and also lorentz sta and that the know that he’s arash and not really they can do that. What i find interesting especially in there. Even the middle stays you know. My mom will hold onto a four while you know our solar just how long term he get to the middle later stages really what i think we’re trying to do. Jennifer exists you know. Keep them happy. And calm. And i do a mix of things they would remember back in the day to to newark things like the at the apps but it was still. This is law. Being i’m saying is like a whole thing remember. These puzzles different colors. And do you pull them up. Matchup different colors blue gray and you have a whole bag of these on. Hold a mirror game so you know yellow you try to find another yellow one wherever you may be the other ones and they love anything worden things that remind him of the nineteen twenties and thirties. So a have a really cool mix and the another thing a cracker barrel the little things you jump at the cracker barrel game. Everyone loves that. I have one of the course and so she knows that. So keep all the pieces about both ethnic bag. She still do that. Were to pick. That amazes simple beck and no. Those are a couple of dollars for us. And i think this i think there wouldn’t i. It was probably about ten but they have a if you type in your activities or dementia. Zil things come out now. And i’d like you mean like an amazon. Yeah yet nine esa if you just google dementia activities. A lot of birds. Specialized active minds comes up acting minds on logger but his is credits. And what’s get amazon. You can get to amazon gangs then you could i. I like the fact that you can support. You know some of these websites you know. Who’s focus is alzheimer’s and dementia. But at the same time you want to go. Even as an end to two women Robin rebecca own accompanied con dabble set d. a. b. b. l. e. Sec near both arms are patients fairness and may started their own company and all they do our activities. One of them is called zippy’s somme wanted. It was called do dot art and is not mess. In ’cause i say pain was painter out. What is simple is just magic marker saying and you just all nuts and you can make all kinds of designs you know on your the ages ages while hundred three dilemma. I’m just turned ninety two so she is writing and i’ve done it with my granddaughter.

00:20:04 – 00:25:02

And how was that. And so this on the devil sack website. Which is so cool a randall. It was here. And we mcconnell dot thing. She made a rainbow. She might this game where she did a whole lot of bats all to pay and then she wanted me to do saying pat and you like oh is always cool really cool. We did that alone. Time and in his remarkable so in french word yes is we and then hispanic is c. And so this day. Don’t ask me why it is called. We see or yes or that. Whatever and there is we see and it’s away because all it really is are just issues and this is really great for especially nate’s day when they’re saying you were because you don’t want him to be upset if they can’t because you can say this is the light bulb but Also looks like a flower. It does and our worries whole lot of marbles and bamboo. All really is conversation star. So i had taken a really brightly colored flour we lower and they have an ice cream. Carl’s do stimulates competition with. Hey i’m us again. This grass way in here and a mike rack when danny and his whole sense so inish just allow or oh us an expert is hundred news conde and their game to play with it or she just as you you were talking about the cards and how they they resonate sometimes dissed really given an opportunity to you know neither find the right word but i want to know what would you say about this with. My mother is a ice cream fanatic. And so you know she would see the ice cream cone or some other really who bang and just hasn’t wow and this is interesting. I had given us to her. They are the warner cooler bottles. Oh yeah and and she said water. Wow okay i think she gets this so you just never know steam coming out of a greater whatever so yeah it could be smoke or they might notice the windows in the background of that and this is clearly a real billeness so i just was inch so we out. We took it over. I i got it in. The mail. Delays were nice enough to send me a couple of gifts. Spaded him some activities suggestions as i logged on and they were given a crisis for right. They were playing a couple of activities on the on. Zoos i’m like okay. This is fun. And i’m a lot of answers right. So she said they sent me. These names and i saw a week later. I took it to my mom’s house. They were doing jetta. Virtual visit that day of the doctor and so i wanted to show her some of the cars while we were waiting and is a perfect thing. You can put your purse. Whatever we visit doctors again some in person. Just you know. Sit doc officing not disturbing anybody. Not make any noise or anything. But that’s fun. So just one of a kind of activities out. And i don’t know how much this would pay for either. These forces us citizens yes but I don’t think it’s really dot the dot thing. That’s probably less than ten dollars so again. Just things you know and my grandma. She’s now here in my office desk and did a you use any table for the seniors and do things so i tell people to use your imagination for whatever it is that you’re trying to create for them and you know some of the sophistry you just turn on music and her mother net. She says she just turned ninety. Two stars she can still dance as long you hold onto her. She was ninety. She goes to advance without anyhow but now you have to hold her hands and stuff but she had her you know they sent me video and stuff and No she had a good com. All you heart. The character was bought her a shirt. That said i turned ninety. Two in quarantine in accounting of twenty twenty one. None of you are invited. That’s a good one is she. Voyages in desert is oh so cool and we had i had sent over. You know her gifts. And so i had some little fidget toys in there. And there’s no will things you put in your lap on your mom like those. Would you have the zippers and buttons. Not she really liked that we did back and you know some people i know. It’s frustrating Or effort we put into what might work.

00:25:02 – 00:30:05

I think the more satisfaction because it’s the songs thing for made it i just can’t take jennifer is Does that blank stare thing that tears me up and so even if i watch her thing around the has been doing nothing mom love to just basically shoot the breeze and it was great that she could do that with the other residents because in that coup. Oh that was the best. The best reason to put her in a memory care residents now has an. I’ve told the story before. But i don’t think i told you she when she moved in that was her. My mom’s name was dan i. She befriended another gal named diane. Now as if. That’s not already confusing now too. I ends with the both have alzheimer’s so we had diane and other dan and then for a while there was other other diane so there was three of them was like good more ladies or something remembered. The other ones were diane infusing his sin. My mom had her dog with her. And what we were visiting one day and my mom launches into the same story. She starts telling about dogs. The in the other diane goes. You’ve told me that story. Eight hundred three times. And i almost hurt myself. Trying hard not to laugh out loud because first off. I thought hang at how alzheimer’s is tired of this. This story okay. That’s eight hundred and three is a pretty specific. Number is so then about three or so months later sitting outside the courtyard an my mom launches into the story don line life and the next thing you other. Diane is beating the same story. And i thought this is freaking elder abuse. You program this poor woman story. It was all some people say. Oh you’re gonna miss that story when your mom’s gone my mom’s been gone over. Well it’ll be a year or the year when this comes out. But i do not miss that story. I ever miss that story. I clean and this little funny and now we didn’t have a bed. The hong there is. A mother’s name is doris. There is also a deloris and dorothy so we do have the three. Dvd’s yes the and mr lawrence is young. She’s fifty seven s. I think she’s been and she was forty nine. Her daughters in her thirties. Late late too early. I think she just turned thirty long or something daughters very kind of losing her job trying to care for her mom. Yeah so to me. That’s more all this kennedy. Better gotta work your work. You gotta take care of your family. And they both while poop. You’re on your own. Because she ended up. She was in north carolina where she went to college and she stayed there. Got a job got to stay there after she grounded for college within her mom was in maryland. Got sick and she was on the weekends. You’re trying to come back and forth. She hasn’t been here but they weren’t doing anything so she was trying to do it all. She eventually moved back year and so she’s been back here. She came back right before the lockdown. So i think things are a lot better. You know her innocence but she was like you say working her. Bundle of china do that. So always look up for mr moore especially when she was living here i take stuff was the lowest to if i had little disagree isn’t like kids fighting over toward they don’t do that. I’m a mother only with magazines. Will mother say that’s mine magazines. When have you know one of the squeezy toy. Have a lot of these. And these. And what is really really great about the later stages than i am i just focus on the census so have something can smell so we do the aromatherapy at night to help them sleep not be drug person with that secret bills stuff and all that we use the therapy. The lavender really helps to pretend disney so smell and feel and all that and hearings some play the music and some fincher toys do click here in and she loves him a lot of cars so as she progression can so see and she can still read but you can tell the difference when she has the magazine. Which has a lotta pictures ran. Just to be like reader’s digest or something which is pretty much all words so we have gone to the really bright colors that they can’t focus on somebody’s article yesterday folded into some facebook posts in it was like you have to understand about also how the brain changes and how what they can see so you know to get the peripheral vision as they get to the later.

00:30:05 – 00:35:38

They’re going to see right in front them. So i wanted to hold this. And then she gets the colors and all the stuff. So i’ve got it all right just like they said an article and i had not seen of before. I didn’t realize the way they freighted and it was a colored picture. They’ve looked at the different parts of the brain to say what was working win in whatever stages so i’m like okay. I’m doing this. So the domino thing that she loves uneasily marvel kind of thing and i love these and all she’s not matching up the numbers. It really does matching up the colors and you know the as purple in yellows and greens. And i watched her personal around the table on it and even though she matched like a four with a four dots. It was really. The color is not the numbers she was so she can’t still counting count to ten and we know that because when she walked up the stairs she counts them do And it takes like twelve minutes to get the devastating that but it’s hysterical. So we know she can count but is that so. I don’t try the things. I buy for her or trial as the ladies that gave me the to the data and we see pictures for them that they could use on their website style. They could jus- even through her mass. They could see you really studying pictures of she loved like why this is so cool and So i hope to send them more stuff. Because you know i. I like supporting them. Especially since they were occupational therapists and they certainly should know what they’re doing and the things that the they’ve partnered with a lot of companies to focus on the different activities. Say never give up. No put something in front of them that they don’t like it. Because i remember compensation when you say your mom did like all that stuff in your lap. was never. Somebody gave me an apron thing awareness in play with a zipper by unlike anything not article of clothing around her so we did jetzt warm too so it was like a blanket thing so she didn’t mind that and it shows she did tie strings. Were on that. But she’s never let you tiny thing around a ways like that so you just to trial some stuff out and if it doesn’t work out to go to the next thing because somebody calls frustrated. He tried everything. Give you tried everything. So the funniest thing was is on file sewer that from the dollar store as six level container thing and you stand the letters up in. It is one of the old tommy things and i keep so. My mother was secretary for twenty three years in federal government. So the the group owner says. We’ll tell us something about your mom that we need to know or we should know what was she. Like in the batman’s all she was secretary like said so. Don’t be worried because she started sweating tomato soup like good now as they ended up getting her. One of these. Little mail organizers so she takes the junk mail and she separated the two. She could do that all day long. And what was at ninety nine cents. So you don’t spend you know. And she wants the things in the right play. the no combined take after. She assorted it. ’cause she will let you know i just did that. That’s funny you’re like my mom. It’s like none of the stuff that she did. I mean she raised my sister. Nice she was. You know the traditional housewife stay at home moms back then and so the things that she did regularly weren’t things she could do when she was in the care home. Yes soars and your skin clean and fold laundry. I mean i think she now now. I don’t think folding laundry would’ve worked. She just really liked to sit around and chat it right up the wall. It was like. I said she could do it with other people s. So that’s because if that works that works really good too and was also told him that for ten years. Mama made sandwiches for the homeless at this church. That was across the street from her non living that she lived in verse before we had to move into memory care and also if you need help with lunch girl can make a means. I was like okay so they will let miss dar’s you know. Do the sandwiches that she was so proud of her low self cut a little edge off debris that’s and she really felt like she was doing something Loved and they loved to do watching to make the Santa doesn’t she would put like a potato chips on everybody’s plate and she. She recounted below because it was like five or snow more than five or six of them and how she’s a now they’re six and so she would take the lower temperature bank put she would go to each plate one report at and start over to make sure the in before she gave me would no place and then everybody would get one cookie every move and i think i we make too much of that activities because we think it has to be all organized because if you look at the base of particular with some activities director they just don’t want a huge ball when he had to six feet apart.

00:35:38 – 00:40:10

I saw someone funniest they’ve ever seen in my life or in some of these memory care. Pages is hysterical and on the way this is like a beach ball. This huge ball. And because you couldn’t stand together to to get it across the room as so they were all like ten feet apart hysterical and they just had the time of their lives throwing that ball. So i was like i think initially at the start of the pandemic. Everybody is just panicked by adult daycare. Close oh what we gonna do. And so everybody just so. I did this presentation in like forty slides plus show intel. And i did that in less than two weeks. Because people so panicked about that s s often the late stage with five cents as easy to remember that don’t don’t worry too much about the middle stump because even crossword puzzles. You know saw my dad. No he’s a phd and he thousand piece puzzles of the okay. Still get puzzles but get the alzheimer’s puzzles thirty six pieces. Twenty four pieces dickey’s okay. And then they weren’t charges either has extraordinary the one i got In twenty nine. Nineteen for christmas for my mom or amazing scene of hairs with the i towel up among the did all these speeches by herself and was so proud and it still took a lot more tables huge but just thirty six pieces how had planned on healthcare but she pretty much did it by herself and so you ought to take that love away. That’s what the war he just can’t do two thousand anymore but he can certainly still enjoy it. And so this digger. They did end up getting that. Not that exciting and again you can get it on poses to remember what we do because charity and most of the prophet. It was created by seventeen year. Old rigidly whose grandmother had now. He’s not in medical school. He skipped college medical and he sold it to a nine year. Old haley’s now ten as they’re doing all the profits for awesome. So i do that what. They are cheaper on amazon. But i want to support their cause and all that. But they’re still in less than twenty five dollars so you don’t have to spend the bank don’t and because i know a way to some of the adult decor ramp to things that you mom can’t use it anymore and some of the fidget toys ahead made for her out of lego bricks. I ended up tearing apart and build something else. So i mean a lot of this stuff. You can reuse. Don’t throw it away that you know all these adult day programs they can help somebody else. So that’s what i would say. At least you feel like you didn’t waste your money so tell people don’t don’t spend all on trying to figure that out. Jews like you said if there were sitting just sit and meet them where they are just not gonna the eight hundred times already. Keep telling the story like you said you don’t miss it l. Nope i mean we all got stories though is like ella. What if that’s what it takes and you just give my uncle time magazine it. Is you know mechanics today. That’s around the house. She will look at and juice stands picture like she understands on so now i just you know. ’cause is the latest date instead of the just. The general women’s day is also wants us to love. i get either in national geographic. Just a mostly pictorial smithsonian. Anyway as you know now it’s just a lot more for her to look at. So i just taylor did and even a school magazine. She still loves On handle school scares me that you know. You don’t wanna eat pages so they pay close attention. Yeah that scares me a little. I think my mom would have liked that. Her visual processing was just it was it was crap it i think. That’s one of the reasons that she liked to sit around. And while i’m listening to you go through all these different options. Which a lot of them would. She probably wouldn’t have done because that of the visual processing but she likes. Oh i mean when we were kids we had those mommy and me holiday dresses in the seventy s patterns and i look at those pictures fringe girl really hold on.

00:40:10 – 00:45:04

I’m just wondering if my mom while you get that up. If she would have liked like the national real babyish sewing kits rosetta. Oh yeah oh those are. I’ve recommended this. This is migrelief. Light line is and you can pays the background. Colleague can change the color of the water. You can change all of that which is really cool and it’s just like an aquarium but the tap on the glass they swim fast and like the like. You’re feeding them is not actually. It’s not a live stream is an end. So when you just meyer using a caregiver at pay so you tap on your just start swimming. There’s just and off my and this is the free. Burma paid version which could shoot look at black and white fish. Nothing has no idea with the loves the color of fishing he on these things are but they’re amazing and she just look at that and i have an op-ed too so whenever we visit again like we did the backyard business. I’ll take my ipad which serves as a second camera where he but I take that and then she can see it bigger on the screen book or does she loved. This asks really colorful cadet. Look that way so as you might want to look at the monterey bay aquarium too but not in like one hundred years. I think i’m going to add it to my list for when maybe open up our way to now’s about three. Oh gotten more of a weekend getaway but they do live cameras stream so they’ll have like the jellyfish not cool time they do it. I think i gotta go and look at it on my eighty five inch screen tedious. Because look on. My little iphone is nice but it’s not the same isn’t yeah and i’ve told people it’s like you know. This is probably a good thing to share with somebody who’s who’s yes downing. Jelly cams commie com. Yes and on our worst days. Mom was really good at you. Know looking at things like that so We have panda cam here. You know in dc. He’s big now in this day and so there are lots picture him now. You know as long as visuals. She can’t do the coloring apps to but in the early stages you know. Is today four so you just you just take your finger in colorado. As she doesn’t have that kind of steady all anymore but after calico it’s so is pretty cool to find something really cool to color like what does pretty me you know as long as you can help them with something you know. It’s good in dubai outfit shift. Any dexterity sump see. The pictures are so small that you wouldn’t be able to get your fingers in there to do that. But you know. I think when you are create a mountain colorado in the first place because The other ones got too small for her. I got her the the fat or crayons which really helped to because my grandmother had some of those anyway and So yeah it’s been. It’s been cool so i don’t know stress salat over it. I just find something that helps forgot minute and you have the The next maladies at the help. You laxed no actually listened. I listen to murder. Podcast to go to sleep does i. It’s funny because that was too much crime investigation channels degrees at anyway. But this is the all the sounds and you what it won’t you talk about. Sundown works sundown. So you turn on a different. This is the river and then the piano here both. So the one that highlighted turned on and then the flute. I just added the. It’s like a choose your own relaxing. Sound yes and when you put it on pause so what. He was even more cool about it you into sunday now. The free version has about twenty five. Sounds so this is the paid versions. It has more than one hundred. That’s almost to pick from the. They have cicadas which is hysterical. Canada’s they have fired the campfires love me. Rain is love to have a guitar but he was special about it. You can record the lines.

00:45:04 – 00:50:05

Save it on a play list so the ones we were out in the car the ones that will calm her down too fast our played out again and she was my song that he came on because she recognized the sense that she picked it. So you just play it like but i have. Friends is time timers on them as well of bedtime. However i have friends that cannot cannot go to bed sleep without it so it plays one. Another sounds geared up and then it cuts off in like the thirty minutes or sixty minutes. What you fast asleep by then it stunned and they on on the download stores the apple store who was the or whatever it is. They have more than like eighty million. People have downloaded this app. That’s how relax melodies relaxed melodies. Waterfall is really. I mean some got the tower and then the storm thunder is way. Who but i’ve really loved being able to save her favorites and play him again and she liked the campfire and in. You just unselected them when you want to get rid of them but you just take that sound off and start over so what is really was one of my all time favorite things but she will say fire and i don’t know how she knows campfire because we never went camping when i was looking can do that. So you need tar and campfire. So you’re right now but it’s just kind of nice now. My mom might have recognized campfire because we did go camping when i was a kid. The and then we really love. That want is pretty cool when we flew to disneyland. I think i was eleven. Sister was eight and everybody fell in love with hotel camping. Yes days. Yeah i love my. My grandmother got heavy rain. This one always thinks we have to use the bathroom. I know everybody says to say that you love this. And but i just really love being able to play it says save mix at the bottom and then you just save it and then when you get in the car wherever doctor’s office because low headphone for her and then you just put a pick moms mix and off you. Go ahead the numbered. The ones she liked one to ten in our play one and it was like a drove. You know in the car when and you just push the button and shoot go just is stunning so no. I just work to make on. Were but you know. I just believe we really can do anything so hope on. These gave you some ideas and your listeners. If they get ideas from this man they they need to play this from the beginning to get what i mean so much and like i said i i do regret i put together only because cogan they close but i also didn’t because i’ve just made a lot of mistakes She didn’t want to very much like your mom. She would say when we tried. Don’t daycare for the last year. Aided and she hated it because they want her to do something every five minutes. And then i’ll know what your state is like by here maryland. Track the seniors. That participate is due. It’s screwing up their numbers because she she didn’t play bingo. She wasn’t doing when i took her out. There was happy to see her. Go has like one minute. Call me at work. She refused to get on a bus. And so i wanna go naked. No i don’t wanna go to go. You know we could save the money. It’s not free. No girl it is not free. She said well. What do you wanna do. I wanna see every magazine done as you never went back but was because they wanted her door every hour. that’s just not who she was. So i just went to as you said earlier having lots of choices for the pig from walla and then you realize along for that they you know not know may not like something you know more than a month or so after that and you don’t always what you don’t play with him on might come back to it you never know. We don’t get frustrated when you know stupid. Things will get their attention. You know the scrap of paper on the table below on this thing and your over there looking at whatever it was so yes.

00:50:05 – 00:55:03

I just don’t get frustrated when it doesn’t go the way we think it should go or i love this. We seek came because this they they have like three or four kinds of games. You can play with it. Also disadvant- do nothing. Just look at the pictures. I bet so. I don’t get caught up in instructions. And all of that. And just that’s like. She liked to go on the bus. That the the residents had because when a measured up to visit. And they’re like oh. Your mom went on the bus on the bus I never knew see. They never told me she went on these bus. Trips permission slip. I probably told them they can do whatever they need to do with her is it was like whatever keeps her happy. Just do it. And i was like okay and we the one thing that i wish i’d had a solution for as i like to take her out for a drive. Yes so we could but she sat so low in my car. The woman was like looking at the frigate door and she looked up she was funny. There is She she thought it was her best friend to sign. And i think coming back from the doctor so of course. My mom was good for this. While i was a teenager so shouldn’t have shocked me. She didn’t remember that her husband was gone. That’s fine. i didn’t tell her that my dad died over. Her husband died. That would be cruel right and so we’re driving along and all of a sudden she’s like it was really sad when your dad died. I dang near headed accident who and clear out a blue. And of course while i’m driving you know ’cause like crash into this tree and it was literally maybe two minutes and the next thing she’s like i just love how blue sky is well. I guess that’s over and she’s always talking about contrast really well in her in other diane one time they were coming in about the trees that they could see over the roof line if they are standing air in so one day. I took her out front of the memory. Care portion of the Residents and we just looked at the trees and we would go were blessed to be get like two regional parks. We would go to one of them in and walk but she because of a visual processing one. She’d watch her feet. Yes sometimes shade. Watch her feet to the point. Where it’s like you know what you know what’s going to happen. You’re going to go where your eyes are looking seattle land on your noggin on the ground as she would try to step around shadows including her own which circle. That’s so. I finally had to stop taking her. Yeah any place that we had to walk very far which then we started going to parks and watching kids which i’m very nice because i could sit outside and enjoy the nature of get sunshine and listen to the kids and she was just happy to sit there and watch the kids. I was starting to get pretty good at answering emails on my iphone. I’m old. I kind of prefer being able to actually type with fingers i learned how to dictate them and not not make her think i was talking to her so that yeah. There’s a lot of options. It was definitely not exciting. I knew she was happy. But i wished i’d had some more of these ideas that you’ve shared so that we could have Engaged together a little more. That’s nothing said that both thing i’ve telling you about making the jobs and you know playing that kinda game when they match you up and love it when they get it right but also did a lot of Profession wall so. I was doing this baker thing. I took lego super this guy as being construction worker. So i bought him a little squeeze bottle construction and crossing the border. Traffic lights squeeze in the construction guy. He loved this though. Thanks all of these things or a lot of the occupations and the police car horse own a and so whatever. I think my big baggy trips. Whenever i think you know works her time. That’s what i have tried to do. You know it’s really just about engagement but it’s funny about the bus because one of the things that they don don. I applaud them that they’ve done well during the pandemic is that they would get them all on the bus and go nowhere so they would pack a lunch and they would go down to Is a place called national harwood in huge told me river and They would sit there overlooking the river.

00:55:03 – 01:00:01

Annuity sandwiches and cookies internal go back home. And then they went. The furthest thing went was scholar. John the national national park and watch the leaves change in october and now without hour and a half away because bathroom on there and everything but nobody. Nobody got off the bus. Just watch them sat overlook and watch solid pretty lease like ooh came up. And so i do applaud down for you know be able to still get them out and things like that but you know you can only do what you can do in this pandemic. So i’ve done a lot of lego things about the pandemic misses. The the virtual visits has got a lot of hits linked us looking through the glass. You know any found a haired. Lego persons mike. I got gray hair. And she has great hair. She shuns basically lego people. One looks like it’s in a box and the other one is look at the box. The honda doria. She’s behind the little open door. But it’s cool. Everybody loved us in an answer. Can’t stand outside the make sure that we don’t come in. So she is when she’s carrying green. Stick because i give them so much credit. This actually looks like the caregiver to really tough and was cool about it. is you know. I think they’ve done such a great job of keeping them engaged in in now year that they’ve been in their locker with them so this has been quite a thing out and they just got their second vaccines to. I can’t wait until soda. Take two weeks and then beat should be warming up quite a bit here and so the rumor is that we’ll be doing The backyard visits again by the middle on this month. So now what. We’re hoping for got the vaccine on thursday. The second one so awesome. We should be come. The little marseille should be good to go and everybody got it. So that’s we should we should. We’ll see i don’t know my mom. Decided she wasn’t going to put up with this lockdown stuff and she died march. Thirty blessing girl i do. I just know lost a church to cove it and He had parkinson’s tweet. Went there for something else in town and got into the hospital. The died from alzheimer’s. When i got this certificate iran said it will basically. It was not eating or drinking. Yes as a result i remember that. Yeah as a result of advanced alzheimer’s what it said. Because i’m like i. I mean i don’t know maybe i’m weird. I wanted her certificate to say that’s what she died from. I mean it’s because to me. It’s a historical document you know. She didn’t get covert or any of that stuff. Even though i hate when they say it’s something of that the awesome because that’s really what it is. Did you know she wasn’t eating. I knew i knew she was starting to have trouble. I didn’t realize that they were feeding her more often. But the last last day that i saw her awake she went to the hospital on march eighth. Sr on the eighth to twelfth the fourteenth and the sixteenth sixteenth. You know because she broke her legs so she’s bed bound and they put the bed table over with the food on it and she’s literally around on the table and it’s like how touched the table in every possible place and not touch the dang plate. It was just insane and she just it was you could tell her brain was forgetting to eat and then and they closed down for two weeks and about a week and a half into that two weeks i was like i have gone nowhere. Because there’s no place to go round. My husband was going to the grocery store. I mean literally about to call the executive director. And say i’m coming in dealing crack the window. Do you want me wear has mates. I’m coming in. Because i was really concerned that she would forget. I was quote unquote. Her best friend that she’d known forever and ever and her combativeness and her huge resistance to help. Which isn’t just morph into just amp matt magnitudes worse and they called me a march twenty ninth and said oh. She’s not doing so well we think he she she do out with a visit from you. I was like oh. Thank god and then i went the next morning and saw her and i was like yeah. This is not well. This is where. I was like fine with the wheelchair.

01:00:01 – 01:05:01

I learned how to transfer people chairs. I’ve tried to do that with my grandmother. Who will be a hundred three at the end of march. He would rather i anchor up by our arms. Which makes me insane. Because it’s not one of us. I was i was like oh. This’ll be great. I push mom to the pool or the library wherever the kids are in the wheelchair she can hold the dog lease. Should i could push the chair. And she could pull the dog. i was like. Oh this’ll be great. But no the c. c. decided that the increased rent and the covert thing and marcus. I mean i. I don’t know that sharing new any that was going on but i. I like to think that if she’d had a moment of clarity what reality was looking like at that mobile and she would have been like and if my mother could think that right absolutely what she would do she would not wanna live this way. But what’s funny is that you know. Everybody gets too much joy from her. She’s hysterical. They called me today. I was on the treadmill afterward. You know an almost fell off the treadmill so she was refusing. they want to hold on. I’ll put a little feeder. Not be in her room and put on jeopardy or whatever else we’ll fortune you know those visual things and so so she didn’t want to watch. It’s very usual so they says where do you wanna do. Of course she starts. I wanna go home. I wanna go home late. Says where’s hall. And she says she has not seen in years washington. Dc that’s my home and so she called me. She was like guess what she says. A relaxed about that. Like wow. she has said that. And when i first moved her couldn’t afford anywhere for her in. Dc anywhere and my generation washingtonian. But i couldn’t afford thing. So i moved into maryland where i live and when we would go into walmart away in we’d be standing last year we told me to read a booth from dc and like nobody cares. Nobody cares that that’s funny girl staff. So yeah i think we i mean we’ve just had so many last but i almost fell off the treadmill when she told me what she said but she did eventually go and watch lucio. It’s you know. I agree with you. I think my mother certainly wouldn’t want to live like this but they such a big kick. You never know what she’s gonna say. And so she’s hysterical. They they love her to death. So you know. I think that’s the lesson but i am getting almost organiz. As does the rumor that started today that she’s doing the email that we can come back. She paid a fortune have longest debt could on the back of her house. She had a little small patio. Pre kobe. And these families can get on debt obligations. Wow yeah and so like november. Seven was the last time we could go with seventy degrees and everybody was there and everybody had their own law corner. It was crazy. Good november seventh in maryland was seventy degrees. It was a physical day though the halloween. It was only in the fifties but a week later. Halloween for the kid. It was sixty degrees at o’hare antibody flocked over there outside that was laughs. Wow that’s so now. We’re just waiting for this but yeah that’s story today download note and i was like ooh that was exciting. So we’ll see what it rains but you know my job basically then is to just find these little things that you know she can do as we sit outside stacked up magazines so the first visit. I’ll be there. I say whenever march. Twenty seven whatever’s so. I’ll let you know. I’m looking forward to hear about that. We want bright colors visual. Yes and the fox five cents assets when it gets later stages and in the beginning just keep up with this normal things exercise the puzzles even if you have to reduce the you know the number of the pieces of the puzzle you just continue to do their regular activities until they can’t do it anymore. Stop those kinds of things and Just trial have as much variety on hand as you can and osman of fortune. Look for things. That is all around the house. If you’d be shot in how many entertaining things or at your house that you have not true. That’s the funniest. thank you know. Even this some. I have this. Would you call it riser. On my s that you can put your sector monitor on or whatever and one lady in the group home. Her mother keeps taking. She has wanted to so keeps taking. It thinks tv trade remembered. Mtv he’s gonna keep it.

01:05:02 – 01:06:49

Is the daughter. Put her just put her her work. Computer on a file cabinet and the mother around the red house her tv drain. She calls it but it’s a computers that handle whatever but yeah so let me use have no idea what will appeal to them. What a given. Day so i let them do whatever they want to do and go into so but i’m so happy. Awesome young everyone to share some stuff with the that the kid. I’ll keep you updated new. Do you need a breather. After all that. I know i did as i said in the beginning. If i had spoken to loretta four and a half years ago this podcast may never have been created. You’re definitely going to want to check out the youtube video. Which that link is of course in the show notes. Because loretta did show me a lot of her small toys that she uses all the time we did our best to describe them but you might benefit from seeing them one thing. I think you should keep in mind. Is this if it makes them happy and it safe. Don’t let judgment prevent you from just going with it. This disease doesn’t care about anyone’s self image. That’s something i struggled with sometimes but making mom happy nearly always one. I know you’re going to share this with all of your caregiver friends. It would be a crime not to write. Every podcast app has a way to share the show or a specific episode. So you do you and share whatever you like just share me with other caregivers please. I need the social connections after the last fifteen months. I hope you all have a great week and in your ears again next tuesday.