My Grandma Has Dementia Helping Kids Understand
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My grandmother had vascular dementia and despite being an adult during her affliction. It was very troubling. Sometimes to know how best to deal with her. Be honest it could be a little scary at times as well. She wasn’t the warm loving playful grandmother. I knew when i was a kid. Teaching children. what dementia is and how to live with someone. Experiencing the disease is becoming more and more critical for young kids. Grandma having dementia can be a frightening thing. Fear can turn into spending less time with loved. One i’m sure you can visualize the negative spiral that all this can cause but thankfully more books are becoming available for kids to help them understand what is happening. My grandma has dementia is a brand new book published this year. That is one part educational tool and one part beautiful tribute. This episode is brought to you by caregiver. Chronicles and eight week online course covering everything from diagnosis through hospice for more information. Use the link in the show. Welcome to fading memories. A podcast with advice wisdom and hope from caregivers who have lived the experience survived. Tell the tale. Think of us as your caregiver. Best friend with me today is another one of my favorite guests from the uk. Alex winn stanley. He has written a children’s book called. My grandma has dementia. So thanks for joining me. Alex man really appreciates it so tell us about you. Your grandma how you came to write the book this is all about you. Show so i guess myself. I’m a teacher. As a carrier for the young disabled adults and so i do a lot of work around disability and social inclusion in disability awareness as always had a very person centered inclusive mindset and it always been the back of my mind to write a book around dementia because my grandma’s lived with dementia for quite a while and i always wanted to write children’s books to try to explain it to children because growing up. I always had some questions that. Why was my grandma. Getting things a. Why was she repeating things a lot. On what why would she taking medication. From certain boxes at different times baseball questions always solve was him ahead. And i wanted to try and explain those children at the same time. I know. there’s a lot of research out to show that children Of of grandparent’s family members living with dementia and it can often get some anxieties our stress around the as well as for myself growing up. What she my mom Constantly all the time and the stress. That burall yeah mcgrath. Lived with us for a year or so at one. Point in distrusted. Braun is just all these things. I thought. Well if children can be aware of that from an early age and understand that a little bit moines empathize with with the impacted dementia and on an individual on a family. Then it would. It would help so with those anxieties. So yeah that’s why. I wanted to to do the book i make sense. I think our separation of generations you know young people moving away for for jobs and then married and having families. I don’t think that really helps. Because then you go back and you’ve probably experienced a little bit you go back. You’re visiting grandma she’s confused. She doesn’t remember who you are. She’s asking you weird questions. She thinks you’re her husband like that’s you know when you’re younger person that’s it’s hard to deal with as a teenager or young adult but as a child. Yup it’s scary and we need to like you said you know. Help them be more comfortable with that. So i told you there’s a lot more kids books coming but you’re definitely definitely ahead of the curve a little bit there. That’s good. that’s good to hear that. As far as i’m aware anyway i know me too. I mean i looked into this dimension. Books out there and stuff and i just saw. There’s not too many real child-friendly picture books and this book is been illustrating such way that i actually think without the words you know Children understand what was going on on the illustrations of fantastic in explaining on outgassing going The for example. I got a message from a parent at the weekend of a two-year-old said you know i’ve read i’ve audible read it on his my soul allah his to on. We read it together because my dad a early onset dementia and he said it is fantastic. And i couldn’t believe it is two year old of this book.
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I didn’t i mean it. Solve aimed itself four years old ten years old ish that sauvage in in england primary school age. That’s the aim and two year old and on and then i got a message today from from my family in san francisco and their daughters Thirteen and they were reading the book and is quite the age span in san francisco is well. It’s almost a foreign country. I’ve not been there in so long. Thanks to covid. But it’s only about an hour hour and fifteen minute. It’s it’s fifty miles. South west of me our northeast. So let’s not terribly far about an hour and fifteen on the train more or less depending on traffic if you drive so hoping to get to see it against me too me too. I’ve been a couple of times a lot to be bought out to be honest like you said just to be traveling. That’s that’s why we escaped to tahoe city this past weekend. Because it’s like i. I am tired of looking at the same view in the same trails and roads and i love my hometown but holy moly. I’m i’m over any me too but imagine not with cold dock whether he goes doc. Full pm doesn’t get lights until eight. Pm so eight. Am you mean am. Sylvia wow that’s interesting and we’re totally diverging just a little bit but i’m sure you guys are feeling the same way we are week. Let’s say it gets lied about. Sevenish dark about five thirty so we got got. Sounds like about two and a half hours on you a nicer weather. Yeah well it’s california. So so how long did your grandma live with dementia. I know she recently passed away. All sorry about that. We’re we’re sorry for your loss but we’re glad that her per difficult journey is over. Yeah definitely a move. Very lucky with my grandma armed in just to divest Very very located you know she possibly really peacefully in the cattleman she lived near amazing and talk about cattleman possibly in a little bit will. They’re obsolete fantastic with a wish solo. Que my mom got to be that after having not covert tasks mosques and every all the precautions Really nice in a way on yet. We’re really lucky she. She didn’t get to the stage where she was suffering too much. Turn out so yeah really lucky on. I think the biggest thing is that if both now as many people have told me it is her legacy and on someone said to me a couple of days ago you grandma’s now immortalized. Wow and thoughts about it until people started sending me messages over the weekend now. The book is amazon after a week of it being on people sending these messages with the book. And i’m not that same grandma the montgomery in the back the book on the tribute page Page at the bach choir. And it’s a picture of my grandma with a newspaper article local newspaper practical about the book before it was released. Just before she passed and then at the salt of illustration berge next to amazing job is underneath. Is a poem fall her funeral. I rented a funeral in. You have not been read opinion. But i’ll get yeah. No thanks for are really appreciative. Bmi grandma lived with dementia for around solve ten years that showed the diagnosis of mixed dementia. And yet it was probably about as well but yeah. The diagnosis was was around soft and ten years before they seem to live what. I’ve read his two to ten years from diagnosis. Which i thought was interesting. Because my mom was diagnosed about mid mid stage like middle of the mid stage if you chop it into three chunks which is hard to visualize maybe and i’m pretty sure she would have lived if she hadn’t fallen broken her leg should have lived. I think a couple more years. I could be wrong. She did seem to be withdrawing inside which i now know is more assign that she’s starting the transition so it’s hard to know but it’s interesting that the the general consensus is two to ten years from diagnosis. She was diagnosed september. Twenty eleven house away thirty first twenty twenty at little insane but we knew long before that when she was finally diagnosed was like he had tell something we didn’t already know and i know that there’s a you’ll agreed is a grieving process. Anyway as you know as much you don’t lose up person. You almost start to lose them. As time goes on in different ways. At as i said the last two years of my grandma’s life with two of the best years She went from living on the with very little very sedentary lifestyle very little stimulation and we thought it was.
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The best rookie was comfortable and safe while not say when she started to fall safe. So i’ve been in a mind. And then she lived with those for and she was safe and comfortable again and we were really pleased about that. We realized that we actually not doing any favors killing with kindness. Stop from memorial. Says the so. She went with when she went to win the house which is a local local care home. It was terrifying. And i was really skadden. Was this terrible media reports about cavs. Riley sold some horrendous. horrendous cabinet. makes me feel sick My grandma’s home the loss a life. I actually think it took years off. I think i agree that i actually think grandma could also also lived slide longer and she looked Times in some of the photos will in the activities during an actually think she could if it went. It was almost a wash infection. Bonnie just saw. Yeah we’re really lucky. Monkey your feel the same way. My mom’s care residents was amazing. I are always considered the the care staff and myself to be part of moms teen. So i didn’t go for visits with mom and ask them to do things or can you get me. This or mom needs that i was there. I took care stuff and they always knew they could rely on me. It was kind of a joke. Because i would go. I’d pick my mom up. We’d go to the park and we’d watch kids. We’d go to the library when we had our. You know our northern california version of bad weather And i swear they always asked me on what is bringing her back. Oh your momma needs more this or your momma needs more than like. He couldn’t said that on the outside. Because now i gotta go back out and go down to the you know the store and get whatever it is you told me. She didn’t come back like but i always did it because one it was it was either then or they’d have to wait another week and that wasn’t acceptable. But the the funniest day that i went and visited i show up. And they’re like. Oh you’re your mom’s not here. I was like excuse me where she goes. No it’s a lock in community. You know i knew. My sister was at work pike. Twenty new it’s like outta here and like oh she’s on the bus. I guess they had a a weekly bus trip. I don’t know what they did drove around town in. You know we got some nice places to look at but it’s it’s not a touristy town by any means normally they would go on wednesdays but something was happening that week and so they shifted it to monday and i was like i never knew. She went on these bus trips. She’s not really super cooperative with me. I was really surprised but she had friends in the care home. Money listeners know that there was my mom who was diane. There was other diane. And then there was other other diane’s at one point three ladies with alzheimer’s together friends they were like the three three musketeers. All name diane. Which was confusing for those of us. That don’t have problems with our mommy said. I’m sure that wasn’t confused. Yeah i’d say you know. Hey where’s your friend i am. I’m diane. I know you’re diane. But the other diet and it was just like it if he couldn’t even bother and it was funny but you’re talking about kind of the the early grief process. My mom thought. I was her best friend so when she referred to. Her husband is especially when she referred to him as kind of a sarcastic. Like why isn’t he taking care of this like because he’s a never reminded her that he had died because that was obviously not going to be nice but it was hard sometimes. It’s like it’d be really nice. If i could just answer you that dad this dad that or whatever but now if i said she’d always asked me is my husband nowhere. I’m going yes. Dad knows where you’re going. That never answered her question so it it was weird and many times i would say on the podcast my friends. I’m ready for this journey to be over and then when it was over it was like oh. I guess i wasn’t as ready as i saw. It is very interesting you know. It’s it’s an interesting place to be. You’re you’re happy that they’re not suffering that their their minds are whole again but we’re still missing them even though it wasn’t really it’s very confusing. I can empathize completely as you know it. Is that grieving process. You’re missing some little things. Both a moment sometimes live for example. My wife and i had a baby next month. Hopefully hopefully doesn’t come earlier than in a few weeks because we’re also moving house so pretty busy and yeah My mom was saying I just wish he’d have been hit to to see you know y’all baby and We’ve got to accept that a might be nice.
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In that moment. She would remember who the baby was. All you know anything like that and she would forget straightway after anyway so you can’t be a boxer you know but you know deep down. We also know that. Like i said in the book on what i wanna get across the children and young people is that you know people are impounded by dementia in many different ways. And you know deep down the stella loving person ni- dementia like a mosque that changes that person in different ways. But this is still a person behind that. A person deserves to be loved personal view as well. And that’s when we only get across ’cause that’s the ball with grandma So it can be hard to remember that. My mom got very combative and hostile. she was. She was very good at grouchy and klein people and drawing blood and the care staff they just took it but i would not let her do that to me. It was like i would just grab a wrist and like oh no. You’re not doing that to me. It on it’s like. I wanna be doing this with my mother. It’s it was hard. But i also wasn’t gonna let her hurt me. That was my husband’s last interaction with her. She was refusing to get off the x-ray table at the doctor’s office and she was causing a fos and he was always so good at sweet talking her into whatever so he came over. It’s just like literally five or six minutes from where we live. And he he tried real hard to sweet talker but man shoot as have an honorary that day and she just refused to get off the table and he reached out his has like come on mom and she just raked his hand and in a was terrible. I mean it was like a cat. And he’s like she does well. She was originally five four but as she age she struck up some and he’s six three and so he filing just like literally picked her up and plugged into the wheelchair. He was so angry. Yeah well he feels badly because that was his last interaction. He didn’t see her before she died. Because the last two weeks before she died the care home was closed to two family and visitors and all that they did let us in the day before amadeu of although the poor executive director it was me my husband my sister my well my sister and her family so for them my daughter her fiancee one of my mom’s brothers and her sisters their ended up ten of us all at once. We my sister. And i don’t live apart. My daughter’s down the road the fact that we all manage to like coalesce outside mom’s room all within the same lake ten minute time free. That’s incredible. yeah the poor executive director. He’s like didn’t want to tell us to leave but he also wants to stay and he was part of the care team. It’s like he knew he could rely on me to do what needed to be done. And i he had all of our best interests at heart and he was always in a difficult place. So i always tell people you know your responsibilities as a caregiver. Don’t end when you put them in a care residence. It allows you to go back a lot to the relationship. You had before either spouse. Her daughter grandson. But there’s still a lot of things you have to deal with and take care of kids. I mean i haven’t found a place. That’s going to do all of it for you so when i don’t think most of us could afford that if that was case then i was gonna go back to the two year old. I’m just like imagining this two year. Old who grandfather’s early onset dementia alzheimer’s. Can you imagine what that kid like their understanding like they might be the person to find the cure or who knows what. Just just that familiarity and that comfortableness with grandpa because of of his experiences but because you made it a little easier for his mom with your book. I’m just like let’s go play in the back of my mind. The rest of the day fingers crossed without said in the book starts that conversation. You know this is. My grandma’s experience and i wanted to represent as many people move dementia as possible in the book illustrations show different forms of dementia. Obviously in a very short space conquer. Everything though he’s just an introduction any once. I really wanted to stop the conversation. You know the the children with the parents. All the teachers of the caverns. Whoever beta say oh why is that. Why is that slip missing. Are you know why why. Why is the grandma’s glasses over there. Non ahead why she asking multiple times. The same questions are the clock. Just gone past like tiny so wise why she asking the question again things.
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That really wanted to start a conversation. Yeah the only other children’s book. I’m familiar with comes at it. This woman’s had earlier onset alzheimer’s and she was late to motherhood which sounds and like our. I don’t like that phrase. But whatever and she would bring the kids to visit with mom and her way of explaining. It was that there were weeds in anna’s garden and she is that analogy and i. That was really cool too. Because that’s kind of a. it’s a visualization. I think you can kind of visualize. The garden is the brain and the weeds. And that’s a little bit a little bit higher higher brow than aotearoa probably can get although that sounds like a pretty with it too. I no it was really cool. Really cool but yeah i think just going with the cat homes at just just so like say someone said to me about care homes in their opinion jails on unedu- solvable really took thing to say to someone whose family member lived in a cow because mama mama nba struggle until the demographics hostile still struggle with guilt of putting montgomery cat home bought the faded after we found just how positive the impact was of mccrum living. She lived the best velox. I just saw some people consider them in not where some people have horrendous experiences with again. We’re very very lucky. And but yeah. I just think people should be made to feel guilty for for that process because like you say even when a family member is is supported in in supported living on a cow that doesn’t just sacred responsibility from the family. The the primary camera mom was up with a cat home for an hour at least every day still and then she’s fence out will the residents indirectly things so says she was running around doing stuff and getting sixty hospital visit. That was a nightmare. Losing things she used to come home with with catheters still in all sorts of things my momma built like saw in our hospitals fault anyway yet outside story and not really really glad that she didn’t have to go into hospital at the end as well because you know she was a lovely peaceful setting mama was when he was at midnight and weird. I woke up in the middle of the night with this vision of my grandmother. And my head and i just knew vision of aware of and it was so strange and it was literally about or among cam home in the early hours and said she pasta midnight and it was really peaceful peaceful reading. Okay yeah and it’s i’ve dealt with caregivers where the end is just so stressful for them and you. They don’t call hospice in early enough. They haven’t had palliative care early enough or at all. it’s just. There’s a lot of ways to get help. And that’s one of the things that i’ve i am trying to share everytime i learn a little bit of knowledge i find somebody to talk about. Other people can learn. Because i still learn. It’s been almost a year since my mom passed away. And i’m still learning new things in our days when i think penn. I really wish i’d known this earlier. That would have been nice to know that two years ago. But that’s okay. I’ll share it with everybody else so other people can bypass having that feeling but yeah my mom. Because she broke her leg she was mostly asleep. I think she just fell asleep. And then wake back up. Because when i was there the day before was about about twenty six hours before she died that she wasn’t awake she wasn’t conscious and so i think she just slowly excuse me slipped away and that’s fine because in own. It’s the very very end if they get all the way to the end. Sometimes they forget how to eat and they they literally curl in on themselves and just like locked into this shell of a body and it’s like oh it’s not pretty no i’m glad my mom’s gift that stage and your grandma skipped that stage and i’ve got other people i know who’s loved ones. Something happened in. It’s it’s definitely a blessing for them as well as us. But yeah and i definitely because my grandma forget we could see. She was forgetting to swallow over the bus clears the so and especially when she go to hospital with something. That will get worse. And don’t tell me please go. When when people with dementia forget to swallow the not solve the end of the road in well. Will you telling me that. She’s gonna pass away soon. Aims basically saying. Obviously i was two years ago so we’re really lucky that it didn’t happen at the same time we just really got. It didn’t get worse like you say so. And so yeah. How did you guys handle her. Not remembering to swallow.
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Because i see that a lot people are saying you know while they. They chipmunk their food by sticking it in their cheeks and not swallowing. And that’s obviously a difficult thing to do to swallow. I mean at the book shows. It’s slightly in the differences between a before hundred a after solve towards the end of she lost a lot of way could shoot much smaller amounts. She would just eat slowly salak she would eat and then hold them off and then for a few more seconds and then you could see he was soft think and then eventually it like if he was drinking. She would do it for a while. Doing this megan had swallow any otake. A few seconds Each sam so yeah she would she would. It would just took over time so it was basically just allowing the the very slow processing of the eating to happen in her mind so it’s like an old computer that’s barely working have made that analogy before because i think a lot of people can understand you know it. Just it takes so much more effort for their brain to process what we don’t even think about like well. We all should maybe pay a little more attention when we’re eating so we don’t eat too much. That’s that’s a different side of that coin. But yeah you need to understand what’s going on in their brain you know it’s it’s crazy. Yeah so do you want to read as some of the book your show. okay. And i’m an oppose some of the pictures from the book in the show notes. You guys can seem the illustrations are fantastic fun. They’re very colorful kind of joyful considering the topic hundred percent. I mean In the next book. I’m going to do after this This coming out in a couple of bones it because this is going to be this the stop series of different long term health conditions. Alive the one on counselor in another both of the next next one. He’s going to be on depression. And this. i’m actually really looking forward to how we make child-friendly he’s gonna be a real challenge for interesting. The same with they saw. The my favorite scene in spoke for example is the cat home scene because it’s so bright and busy and and somebody said to me someone had looked at the book and said you know the person that said after care homes allow jails and they said it doesn’t is a bit too happy of the place for me but i saw i understand. Your experience is very positively grandma very very lucky but then at the same time we don’t want to me they don’t want to be telling children and young people look at home saharan horrendous terrible place. He’s never go that people living in the you don’t wanna go near them. We don’t want a sketch away. We want to invite them in. So is definitely my favorite scene because Love light and things in the you’ve got you’ve got children with disabilities in the background as well. Just nice hidden messages for me. That make it much more inclusive and diverse and. I’m really excited about that. I’m really happy with the now. That’ll be great. I totally agree with you. Children need to be a part of the care home community. My mom’s resident was across the street. From what we call states and middle school so it’s like the sixth seventh and eighth year of school. Yeah my daughter’s been out of school. While and they had clubs that would come over and do activities. There was also this community that mom lived in was assisted living so it was for retirees. That may be needed. Well if you’re smart you realized if i move into one of these places. Somebody’s doing the cooking. The cleaning you know the the maintenance of the yard. And i don’t have to worry. They’re they’re managing my medications. I don’t have to worry about this stuff. I can just enjoy my my retirement years but they would. The kids would come from the school. And do they would entertain. They would do activities. They would play games and the care staff would bring over the memory care residents who were. My mom went over in the early couple of first couple years. She lived there because she she participate a little bit. You know she. She could benefit from it and being a grandma of three she really enjoyed. I mean just even if she just sat there and watched the kids bustle about and do their thing. She really enjoyed it. So yeah we yeah. We need to make sure people understand that. There are a lot of positive things that those of us in the community can do for people living in those kinds of residences. I had a. I always took out. I don’t think i ever took them together. But mom and other diane and at one we went we’d go to the park and watch kids. The three of us people thought i was crazy. They’re like. I can’t believe you’re taking two women with alzheimer’s out of the care. They talked to each other. I don’t have to listen to the babbel.
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All the it keeps me from wanting to drive off the cliff. Once i showed up to take my mom to the manicurist and she said oh my friend. This’ll be other other. Diane come along and i was like. Oh yeah sure what the heck and the care staff was so familiar with my routine and taking the you know my mom out that they’re like oh yeah sure you could take her out. Oh wait we should probably call her family. I mean it was just it was just they. They trusted me. They knew it would all be fine but then they realized oh you know maybe we should kind of like alert. The family and make sure they’re fine with it. And so i had the two ladies at the nail shop getting their nails done and they would talk to each other and it just made it so much easier and they were happy and you know it was like a ladies afternoon out. I mean it you know yes you had to supervise and make sure they didn’t trip over anything in the parking lot carpark or whatever you know but they dealt with each other so i just had kind of matt managed them so it really wasn’t that i didn’t think it was that big a deal not just like what my mom used to account. She did the same thing. Yeah montgomery and some good friends there frenzy. She’d known for years before that she worked with an hans factory. And we’re gonna stolen. Yeah which is which is really cool and yeah. They nearly got mail on on the weekend that we did live reading following. And my because my my nonprofit organization we deliver turning around disability awareness instead before Happy smile train inside. Say on we’re gonna do some into generational reading work with the book between primary school children on at home residence so we practiced at the weekend with montgomery’s cat home into the reading a book to them which is amazing. All the ladies But they need. They got may with started to sing for. She was a jolly good fellow and hours. I’m gonna office when a stop reading. I’m going to take a drink because i’m going to go to sweep. My mom was released. Supportive of the other residents. It was always kind of an internal chuckle because she walked just fine until she broke her leg and many of them used walkers. Or i think you guys calm races. Right walkers annoying okay. As she’d be she’d have her head popped out hurt. The door of a roman should be like if you need any help. Just let me know. And i would just be like lady. You could barely help yourself. But that’s what made her happy as she was part of a women’s service organization and a mom and a grandma and she helped my dad with his businesses and all that says like she was a caregiver. She took care of her mom. A little bit persisted most of that. But you know my mom participated somewhat not as much as she probably would’ve wanted to but a lot of that was her mind already going bad. That’s just who she was. And you know yeah. It made me kind of laugh inside that. She’s offering these people help and you know she couldn’t help herself. And it’s derek. i find. I found in her care home. But all of the residents accepted each other per for the most part there was some you know personality differences and some people that were a little bit their personalities were a little rougher. The saddest thing was other. Diane got really paranoid. I showed up one day. And she literally had all of her laundry in her lap and she’s just clutching it and yeah and i said i said cool. The heck just dumped your laundry in your lap like that. Would you like me to help you. And i lean into like pick up the laundry. I was just gonna go set it in her room and she jerked back like i was gonna slap upside the head and i was like okay fine and it was about that point that i noticed. My mom was spending less time with other diana and more time with other other. Yeah it was kind of crazy but the the other sad thing was that the other diane the second one got she progressed. Faster than my mom is she. Just i mean she totally forgot who i was she name recognize me. She stopped technology. Meet was really kinda sad. Because i’d show up and she’d be like i think i must know you’d like. Oh yeah. I’m here all the time we do stuff together. Now i think you’re and then she’d fill in. I think you’re the nurse. Or what am i whatever. I don’t care what you think who i am. You know. it was just kind of sad but yeah my mom had friends and activities. And i knew the reason i chose a care home for her one. My daughter just moved out. I’m like i’m not. I haven’t even had a month without somebody else that i have to deal with him. I’m not ready to do that.
00:35:00 – 00:40:09
At fifty you know. And i sincerely thought that she could easily live ten or fifteen years and i really wasn’t interested in giving up ten or fifteen years of my life because we never know what will happen. I mean that was in twenty seventeen and then look what happened last year separate But i also knew that once she was there and she got acclimated and could see that there was activities and and friends and just it’s like there was people that accepted her and her stupid story about the dogs which story that she told all the time. Like i’ve had dogs all my life is how it started and i usually figured out a way of distracting her. I can almost tell when that story was coming. But and i’ve i’ve said this before on the podcast. But she told that story so often one day other diane said slapped her knee and said you’ve told me that story eight hundred and three times and i’m thinking he hundred and three is a fairly specific number probably true thankfully that like distracted. My mom and my mom was like kind of taken aback and a little startled because that was the expression shutter face thankfully. We didn’t have to hear it again that day and then like a couple months later. We’re sitting outside in their courtyard which was beautiful. And my mom’s starts on this story and the next thing i know. Other diana’s perte my momma thought that is elder abuse program. Your friend with this story this friend. Who has alzheimer’s can now repeat this story that you repeat all the time. This is terrifying. It was just. It was so like bizarre that this other woman could literally pair it. The story and i thought you can’t remember my name but you remember this whole story. I’m like i’m not even sure. I wanna know how many times my mom has said that. She didn’t get frustrated with my mom. Or you know when she said the you’ve told me this hundred three two or eight hundred and three times. It wasn’t frustration. It was more like a statement. Like you’ve told me that story so many times but tell me again. You think i had to like you distract her. Because i’m like if. I hear that story one more time. I’m gonna lose my mind you. Those little. Those little coping techniques mon- mechanisms and where. Yeah i guess you just come up with that in in the best least the least restrictive exo. Yeah my grandmother used to say. I’ve read efforts. are multiple multiple times. A day. it was. I’m befuddled our befuddled. A nomin she was confused and feeling confused than we learned on in some actually using the woods. On i’m gonna use those lists to inspire Project i’m working on and around suppose in caregivers Own paid unpaid caregivers and trying to highlight positive. Examples of thoughts. Lot something working on which really excited about to try to support them. Because i’ve just seen it with montgomery at home with mom both on paid. I’m paid karin. Don’t get enough recognition for everything that day. So that’s another project. I’m working on so cute data about what’s really excited about. I’ll be cool okay. So rita’s a little bit of your book pictures if you want because we do. We do share the video. I would give you a comparable if you commit. Let me share the screen. I’ll be able to share it if you can do that. All right so hopefully you can see that screen and okay. My grandma has dementia. But what does that would mean. Let’s talk it through together. Come along. i’ll set the. I love days at my grandma’s baking cakes smile. We would listen to her tales that would often lost a while and we started to notice that grandma got each day so we went to the doctor see what she has to say. It’s dementia that. The doctor made me feel scared. She explained it very clearly so that we felt prepared. The cells inside grandma’s brain will struggle to work as well. Medicine can slowly stand by how much it’s hard to tell. There are many types of dementia alzheimer’s being just one most happened. Sold people but not to everyone and this. I guess we go up june. It’s trying represent some of those different characters in that too as well and not lost their and yet as some other examples and i was talking about the little. The little things. Illustrated’s don’t see you’ll see the number eighty two on the gate there in the house and that’s number my grandma’s house she lived up and and this really cool little salt. Oh jeez throughout throughout House was always super. Maxine needs to the house up so much to say when she just didn’t cash. Just do whatever it was mad as and but then hopefully for children as he flicked through the book from this page for example. Where you’ve got to clear out put slightly messy kitchen. But then he goes to. You know you’ll see some of the plants die in on some of the cleaning equipment on glasses may saying you know the the the hall zone on the palms burn in things that hopefully children will pick up on that say.
00:40:09 – 00:45:06
Why is that happening. Avenues conversation so i suppose a preview of awesome. And like i said it’s really colorful and definitely and it’s It’s very inclusive which is a big deal. These days i was really excited about a very big on on inclusion diversity and diverse an inclusive arrange of characters as possible so wherever we got the opportunity speaking some dementia specialists in the uk doctors and a female female doctors and one of them said similac. I read three. The first that struck me personally was not an as a researcher at an expert an adopted. She said that when people talk about. Don’t he just think man in a coat whereas we’re wanting to completely reverse that it’s all about getting children to think that little bit differently and if pe- children are made aware of different people differences in people are individuals in all these different ways disability race gender everything than will be more inclusive and diverse bicycle. Jim better society. I totally agree. So how many books they think are going to be in this series that you’ve started six this year including including the dimensional and so six almost done with the second one which you said was on depression. Four more to go bad. i’ve got some dress already. Written with different people like every expressed on obviously people with lived experience of that condition in different people. So i’m just consultant a few different people. At the moment around the depression book you have got few mall in the pipeline as well and just trying to keep warm slot cliff something special. That comes out. We’ll say i make sense and so do you know if the baby’s a boy or girl are you waiting to find out next month going to be a surprise so any other definitely going to be one assets only better is going to be one although there definitely that will be surprised. That would be a big surprise. My wife’s got a pretty big belly owner at the moment from the pregnancy She’s quite slim person so ballooned and hopefully. There’s not one hobby another one. They’re pretty good of finding that these days but well with the books and the baby and definitely keep me in loop on what’s going on because it’s always good to support everybody. And that’s what i’m here to do and really appreciate you coming on today and sharing your book. Like i said you guys can go. Alex’s instagram account is hot linked in the show out so you can go there and see what he’s up to and the pictures the book and are also in the show notes. And i’m sure you’re gonna definitely wanna order one for yourself. That’s linked from amazon. So you can do that too and enjoy it yourself with your kids or grandkids or give it as a gift. Yeah definitely please do. And you know the more we talk about it the more we raise the awareness the more the more we can talk about this book and get it out there. The more is going to help people so you know not only a donations to nonprofit organization. Charles is book is the more we can do the more we can read. I’m really passionate about that. And yeah just. Hopefully if people buy on amazon some people what tried to get a uk. So i guess. Nature should be ghost towns on dot com for saudi careful. Please leave review. Please getting taught you and let me know honestly make a mom buys the book especially someone in in america and getting search and like read this. You bought war so please let me know if you read the book and tell me what you think awesome. I’ll help that to have lots and lots of sales because it’s important topic extending meet. Say if you want to see some of the illustrations in alex’s book pop on over to our youtube channel where you can actually see us and the illustrations they’re beautiful. The link to youtube is in the show notes to scroll down. Click the link boom. You’re there. I would also appreciate it if you have enjoyed this episode. Please share with one other person. That is how this show will grow. And this show is all about sharing tools resources tips and connections for caregivers so that your journey can be just a little bit easier. Be sure to check out my website. Where i have curated lots and lots of resources information including easy tasty healthy recipes that i used to use for specifically for my mom.
00:45:06 – 00:46:31
You can sign up for the email newsletter. We’ll get to see some cute dog photos or maybe something from my own hometown. If you haven’t gotten enough of me make sure you’re following me on social media. And as always i will be back in your ears again next tuesday while i’ve got your attention. Let me tell you about the modules in the eight week online course from caregiver. Chronicles it starts out with. What is a caregiver then. Educating yourself on the diagnosis carrying for a loved one and observing your loved ones religious beliefs. How to live a healthy lifestyle as a caregiver navigating the medical professionals understanding medication super important legal matters also important. The decision maker insurance community resources durable medical equipment when a caregiver is needed finding a caregiver placement in the skilled nursing facility or memory care. Residents family dynamics challenges and conflicts learning how to navigate. That is probably worth the entire fee. Then there’s home health hospice than planning for your loved ones transition. Be sure to check out their weekly live. Ask dr yvette. Anything the link that is also in the show notes.