A Supportive Podcast for those Dealing with a loved one with Memory Loss

A Supportive Podcast for those Dealing with a loved one with Memory Loss

Visual Storytelling of Dementia

Visual Storytelling of Dementia

00:04:22 – 00:05:02

him taking care of her but it was only for another month and a half or so. It’s hard to say that i was a caregiver. Three thousand miles away. But i like to think that i was because i was very involved with their lives and talk to them every day and i flew home once a month. Unfortunately it was all mostly put on my dad so that was our family. Experience with caregiving will flying cross country on monthly especially nowadays. When at all while you just did but for the most part will was aren’t haven’t flown for quite some time. yeah it was definitely pre pandemic. She passed in twenty eleven.

00:05:02 – 00:10:02

And i had a very understanding boss who just let me work remotely from california so i was there probably eight days. Every month and felt very involved in her daily care and doctors appointments and all of that and just to kind of follow up on the caregiving role as most people know who have been through it. You really what’s hard is on the caregiver then. The person living with the disease and my dad had a bad heart. He had rheumatic fever when he was nine so his heart was never one hundred percent during my mother’s illness. We were quite concerned about him more. We always try to make sure he had a day off with a mom to golf and made sure we. He took care of himself after she passed on october. Thirty first twenty eleven just three months later on his seventy first birthday which was their first birthday not together since they were seventeen or eighteen. He was out to dinner my brother and had dinner and dessert and they brought him a cake. He made a wish he blew out the candle and he dropped dead of a heart attack within the hour that also says something about what distress of caregiving is on the caregiver but it was also the perfect ending to their fifty plus relationship where he obviously wanted to be with her. That was his birthday. Wish i was just thinking like to. I ask if you wonder what the wish was. But yeah he thought about that back up a half step out and he was considering putting her in a care. Residence what was the catalyst of that thought process. Because i know a lot of people’s struggle with with that. I’m trying to think if there was actually a catalyst. He was pretty much able to care for her. We were fortunate in the fact that she still remembered who we were when she passed and she never got violent. She got angry a couple of times but nothing too bad and he did experience once which had never experienced before she had a seizure and that made him nervous. He ended up having someone come into the home. I’m trying to think if it was daily or maybe a few times a week. I can’t remember for maybe eight hours. She fought fat. She didn’t think she needed that. But what we said was. Remember that seizure you had. This is the doctor said we had to have this. She’s like oh okay but it was nothing not that i can think of. I think maybe he just thought she was only going to get worse and knew what his limits were. I think that’s what kind of prompted it and it was only maybe two miles away from them so it was close but it was going to be a very hard decision in always is always and it’s expensive. That doesn’t help at all. No but a lot of caregivers. I’ve talked to ones. That are part of my support group. What i’ve noticed. Is you get sucked in. It’s almost like quicksand year helping like for you and me and my sister for some part. You’re helping your parent take care of your other parent and then like my dad. Passed away with no conversation whatsoever about what we would do with my mother. If he went i which since he had diabetes and he had all kinds of chronic use knows his shoes. I was definitely a conversation we should have had. So i’m a huge advocate having these conversations. They’re very difficult to start. But i think most people find that you’ve had these conversations and they’re not a warm fuzzy feeling but you come away a little bit relieved like okay. I understand where they’re coming from. They understand where i’m coming from. Now we can make plans or agree. Shocker we agree on stuff which not not my family. We actually did discuss what we would do of. My dad went first because like we said hit about heart and my brother expressed interest in taking my mom. And you know us. But that’s what he you know. He felt at the time. And i tell all my friends to have these conversations whether it’s with alzheimer’s or cancer or just old age to have these conversations with your parents while they can financial conversations where everything is if they have a safe. The combination was our problem. We always had these conversations growing up. My dad would say. If i go i i want your mom to do this.

00:10:02 – 00:15:04

And my mom would say the same thing. They told us they wanted to be cremated. We were always very open about those things. And i really encourage my friends and others to do the same. It’s so important. Do you feel that being open and understanding the technicalities like what they wanted the financial end but also what their wishes and stuff. Where did that make less stressful to make decisions a hundred percent there. You go folks hundred percent. My brother sister. And i got along during that whole process. Afterwards of what we’re gonna do with everything yes completely. Probably when i was forty nine fifty. I did a living trust. Well before i hopefully need to. But i’m a planner. And i have in there if i get alzheimer’s what to do with me. Everything so i do believe in having these open conversations before you need to and yup being honest about what’s w- the future especially when you have something like this in your family Be aware we’re signing our trust today. Oh and it was funny. Because i just turned fifty four. My husband’s fifty six. And you know going through all of the questions. We only have one daughter and so when he said well what happens if something happens to your daughter before you guys and it was like. Oh that’s a really good question but you know you don’t think of these things that’s not the natural order of life but it does happen happen. My dad preceded his mother. My paternal grandmother is almost a hundred and three. My dad didn’t make it to seventy eight so you know the it was. It was great. He asked that question but it was like. Wow ooh that’s a question to answer. My husband joked why. I really feel like we’re adulting. Which is you know. it’s one of those. Kids millennial comment. So yes and. I have an upcoming episode on alzheimer’s living will so you said you have great. Yeah so when that episode comes out people can click on the link and order their own because we did talk about that as well which was actually a learning experience for the trust attorney so we all learn something that you have for national geographic for probably longer than you want to admit it will be twenty one years in january awesome favorite publications and because as a photographer i just love nat geo photography. Tell me how you did. Did you combine these two passions. And that’s how you started. The fund works ashley. Okay so working. For national geographic. I loved photography. Well before that but really started appreciating photography during my twenty one year career. And i collect photography. I have a huge collection of prints and photography books. I have over nine hundred and fifty photography books and support photographers all the time. I had some extra money at the time is five or so years ago and was thinking of supporting some photographers with it. I was talking to a friend of mine about it and he said why. Don’t you start a grant related to alzheimer’s and dementia and named after your mom. It just did not occur to me on my own. I don’t know how that i come up with that. And i loved that idea for when there’s no grant like this out there and they’re still isn’t that supports projects related to alzheimer’s and dementia. But the other thing that i did is. I wanted to name it after both of them because it alzheimer’s affected my father just as much as mother and as hit her caregiver. I just wanted to honor both of them. So the bobbin diane fund was created in two thousand sixteen and we give a five thousand dollar grant once a year to a photographer working on a story related to alzheimer’s I usually say alzheimer’s ’cause that’s what my mom had. But it’s really we cover all forms of dementia. The grant is to bring a visual awareness to this disease that so many people do not understand as i know you know. Yeah it’s just unless you are living with it or have experienced it in some way you truly do not understand what the diseases most people think. It is just forgetting people’s names forgetting to turn off the coffee maker. it is so much more than that. It’s a complete personality change among so many other mental facilities. I wanted to be raining visual awareness to disease.

00:15:04 – 00:20:08

It makes people understand it. More gives them more empathy for the people dealing with it and it makes them wanna care and then hopefully want to support financially to alzheimer’s organizations to help find a cure. Definitely when you started in two thousand sixteen was it challenging to find photographers. Who are actually creating these kinds of visuals stories. Because i know myself as a family historian photographer and many people on social media the younger caregivers. And i say that reluctantly. But the ones that are in their thirties and forties that grew up with a lot more social media are less inhibited about showing the really negative side of the disease. Because which is important. But you know for me. My mother would kill me if she knew what i put on the internet of her. I would get that. Mom look and i would be a pile of ash. I have another gal. Who’s just slightly younger than me. That one of the things that she posted a lot in her. Instagram is her journey with her dad. She moved him into a care home in january. He’s had the disease for twelve years so he’s getting closer to the stage is she. Is sharing a lot less of that. Because she wants him to have his privacy his dignity which i thoroughly understand and agree with that does make it difficult to share the more challenging side of the you know when i started this. I had absolutely no idea. I was going to get five submission a year or a thousand not a clue so when i started it we were going to start submissions in august and i was fortunate enough that time magazine dot com announced our grant so they announced that it was going to be open to submissions which was great our first year we received over seventy. We always average about twenty-five countries always anywhere between twenty two and twenty seven. I was really happy with we average about that this year. We had a seventy three submissions from twenty seven countries. It’s a perfect number for me to judge and all of that but yeah i did know and again it. This is work that already exists. Or is they’re working on. It is not to start the work so like i said i didn’t know what we going to have at that point so every project has been different so not everyone is really documenting. A parrot in in declined like you mentioned some do our first year winner by day in two thousand sixteen documented a hospital. It was the secure unit of a hospital for alzheimer’s and there was not that many difficult images to look at except where they were standing at the door waiting for their loved ones. And i don’t mean that. That’s not difficult but i mean ones where it was. Maybe not seeing them in a respectful light. The second year. Chris none he documented of a friend of his who he met. Who was an artist in the town. He lived in and third year. Stephen dorado did photograph his father. But stephen had been documenting his father for twenty plus years with a large format camera. Well before he was ever ill from he’d always done a portrait self portrait with his father. Beautiful so when his father became ill he just continued it as he always had just documenting. His parents are last year’s winner in two thousand nineteen so matha out the sense. She documented her grandparents and beautiful way. There were some difficult moments with her grandmother but it was all done very lovingly i think. And then lastly our new grantee for twenty twenty. We just announced yesterday is from iran. Jalal shems zarin think. I’m pronouncing his last name right. And it is a lovely project. His father he documented his in black and white starting. I think at the beginning of his illness and he just recently passed away. The images are very their gritty but very tender in emotional as well. I think that he was able to document the disease and still respecting his father’s dignity. Privacy to to his his death and the way he photographed his death was more in kind of not abstract ways but ways where it was like the empty picture frame or them driving to the cemetery.

00:20:08 – 00:25:06

So those were you’re not seeing the actual death but you know that. He has since passed on netflix. Now the first winner. I became aware of her because of an article in the apple news. Feed my understanding is after documenting the the stress of looking through the windows Into a hallway that they couldn’t get into encouraged the hospital. This is in france to put in different doors. That didn’t have windows. is that true. I have not heard that. I think that was it’s been. It’s been many months’ might have been so interesting. I think they changed the doors so that it wasn’t a forbidden portal to outside. That’s i think that’s really important. And if that’s the. I love that i will research that that is so interesting. Maya is swedish but she did this work in a hospital in northern france and it was a protective unit and the patients would be kind of dressed up with holding their bags waiting for a loved one to come pick them up as if they were leaving but they weren’t and pulling on the door and the door was locked and you could see the wear and tear on the door. It’s just it’s a beautiful project but it’s difficult to it’s difficult to look at just seeing people kept in a protective unit. But again i think she did. It did it beautifully and with a very tender touch to it was interesting. And i don’t know if it was because it was france at seemed very timeless the way they were dressed didn’t scout team whatever’s you’re absolutely right it was and so was. I feel like our second grantee chris. Nun’s work feels very timeless to me. He’d meant met this gentleman. I think in a grocery store and he was a known painter in their area and chris must’ve known he’d been diagnosed with dementia and asked to document him and he said yes and they work together for quite a while and just did these beautiful portraits and moments were time just went by and he was able to document. That is beautiful for everybody that would like to see these images first off against the current grantee on the youtube channel. But you can also go to the bob and dan funds website. Which is lincoln in the show notes and all of the past winners have galleries which you can look at. And they are very. They’re touching their. It’s their documentary photography. They’re not beautiful portrait all the time. And that’s fine. And it’s important that alzheimer’s beautiful no not dementia. Yes but there are beautiful images and there’s always i mean whether you have dementia or other diseases. There’s always a beautiful moment that your loved one is having and so is just like the images there are some beautiful moments in it and there’s other images that are difficult but that’s the honest truth of this disease now. Have you seen any or toxic any people that have learned from these projects. They’ve seen them and they’re like wow i didn’t know. Are you seeing the end result of grace. Tell me about the thanks. So i mean i see the end result i in my everyday life which means so many people who i am connected to which in the world of photography can be worldwide so. Many people are more aware of alzheimer’s and dementia. Because people who. I’m friends with on social. Who i may not actually know we’re in the same community are always sending me things about alzheimer’s always and i love that. I love that. They do think of me when they read a story about alzheimer’s so many people are always asking house. The bob and diane doing house about so. I love that people know my parents name but yes. I always read comments so every year. The washington post announces our winner. And i always read those comments. And i’ve read so many where people say how much it’s touched them and how they didn’t understand and when i say i want to bring a visual awareness especially to the world but i also want to bring it to the lives of caregivers so meaning for you if you’re not a caregiver at this time but when you were your neighbor will now understand what you’re going through in your co worker will understand because they don’t get it and the way they interact with you so yes i want people in the world to understand it but i also want the caregivers immediate community to understand what that person is going through.

00:25:06 – 00:30:14

I think that is so important. I would have some of my mom’s friends say oh. Your mom hurt my feelings today. You know and they call me about this and if you don’t have thick skin do not call her. Because i can’t take on that added stress hearing about it so you need to understand what it is. We are dealing with on a daily basis. The caregiver obviously need support from the family but also their community for their community. Understand what they are going through. I do feel that these visual images help people understand that. I’ve talked to so many people that are essentially clueless and it’s not because they don’t care it’s hasn’t touched them wore. I’m assuming since your mom was only sick with alzheimer’s for five years and then got cancer. Sheep didn’t get into the later. No i mean she was. She was definitely declining. The alzheimer’s had definitely progressed. But like i said she still knew who we were. I would say seventy five to eighty percent of time once in a while. She did not know something she didn’t get into that really angry stage. She drifted off to the neighbors only twice. Which wasn’t too bad. You know we knew how much worse it could get so we were fortunate in that way that she didn’t live longer with the disease and i do feel that we were fortunate that she got cancer. And had to ya term. You hear very often. I know. I know but when you are living with alzheimer’s you well. No i was gonna say. I’d read the statistic recently and i thought it was so interesting between two thousand and twenty eighteen deaths from heart. Disease have decreased seven point eight percent while death from alzheimer’s have increased a hundred and forty six percent. Yup i think that is just shocking. It’s ugly and you’re you live in the dc in dc right. Now you’re in california twenty twenty aside because obviously this year. We’re not even going to discuss the not going to discuss deaths this year. Alzheimer’s can either be the second or third leading cause of death of californians. I do believe a lot of that is a function of population bigger number of people. Obviously we’re going to have more alzheimer’s and dementia. But yeah it’s it’s the sixth leading cause of death nationwide. It’s higher than breast cancer pink. The three top. Three frederick cancer prostate. Yeah i think those two combined okay. Maybe it’s just the two. That’s why i can’t come third and then heart disease. We’ve done a great job on reducing heart disease of coming up with therapies for cancers and unfortunately we all know lifestyle choices are very important in maintaining our hell. Yes and that two days before the biggest eating day of the year winner is based in iran. iran has seven hundred and fifty thousand people living with the disease. You happen to know the population of iraq. I meant to look that up because someone else asked me that. But i thought it i to me. It’s still that’s a lot of hundred seven hundred fifty thousand too many. It’s a disease. That’s worldwide as i have found when i get submissions from so many different countries. I said this year was twenty seven different countries. And do you see a difference. Like a cultural difference in how they documented or is it all fairly documentary style. But it’s not all documentary style. We definitely get some fine. Art approaches portrait approaches. There’s one project that’s been submitted. A flowers and once. I read the proposal. I understood it. Each flower represented something with dementia. But there was nobody with dementia in the images. I’ve received some different like art type. Projects that still photography and like collages and i tend to be drawn more to the documentary and art side of documenting this disease. I don’t do the judging two of our board members and we do one guest judge year. Although this year with kobe. I had one judge jared sorace who is a photojournalist in washington dc. He came and judge. The work and we wore are bob and diane fund masks. This year was a little different if this year a little different no matter what we’re doing yes yes. They have not yet been exhibited fifth year. And i have had a couple of opportunities and i always said i’m gonna wait ’til maybe five years and then kobe happen but the grant is to help finish the work to help get it published into a book form or to help exhibit it so our third grantee.

00:30:14 – 00:35:02

Stephen dorado did a book with dad with help of the grant which was wonderful and i think jalal was hoping to publish this project into a book form but yes that is definitely on my radar in the next year or so. I would love to get this work exhibited. We’ve talked to us against alzheimer’s may be doing it at their yearly convention. I do want to say to other things that we give scholarships to non western photographers to tend tar fy workshops around the world so we have done three where we pay their enrollment fee and airfare from mexico bangladesh and india to go to either kenya and then there was a workshop in india. So we’ve done that which has been great and then they have to do a project on alzheimer’s for the week that last year was our first year we did a photo contest called still living in. It was a contest. Four people living with the disease. You may think how can that be but there are people who live with it in the early stages where they are still functioning people in the community and that is what we wanted to remind people that for still photography that they are still living. They still have a voice. They still contribute so we did. It was worldwide and we chose three winners one in france and canada and then the us and gave them a small financial prize. We had hoped to do it again. But with cove ed. We knew that wasn’t going to work with people in homes and caregiving homes. So we definitely want to do photo opportunities. One gentleman who was kind of a budding photographer had had not picked up his camera in years and he did the photo contest and he wrote me. He was fine that he did not win. He just loved that he was able to pick up his camera again. And it got him interested in photography again that was a person living with dementia. Yes i had an episode with the. I don’t know if it’s foundation is probably not the right word. it’s a group called. make grandma smile. Their goal is to improve senior activities in care communities yet because they don’t seem to have modernized. My mom was seventy seven when she died this year and they were playing big band music a lot which she did like behead guests that was not her era. Yeah we’re getting to the point scary thought. Now where the sixties in the seventies are going to be the music in the cultural parts of the past and one of the things he said was thank. God forbid i get dementia or alzheimer’s he would wanna make sure that. I would have a camera that i could use and just take pictures of whatever he said to be anything spectacular. It helps engage people. So they’re not around. Yeah i see all these connections coming. Yes for that contest. The theme was what inspires you. What brings you joy. We got pictures of their petten. One woman who lives with the disease she started a kayak club. It was a picture of her on her kayak from the tip of her kayak to a beautiful background or foreground. I just i love that. There is another woman. I met who with the disease and she is definitely loves photography color. Maybe a little bit more than an amateur photographer and she loves hummingbirds and she goes out and photographs birds and other birds and that keeps her stimulated and moving. I think that is so important. And there are some camera clubs within some organizations. And i would love to do more without. That’s camera clubs incorporating somebody in earlier to middle stages would actually be a really good community kind of outraged cycle club for a while. The gentlemen who lived near this particular residents would go and ride bikes with this gentlemen. Because he’d been an avid cycler and he was kind of a flight risk for lack of a better term. Because i think you almost have muscle memory like ooh. I gotta get out on my bike. I’m a cyclist too. So i can kind of relate to that feeling. His children were still working. They were sandwich generation with their own kids and they would ride with him on the weekend but he needed more stimulation. One gentleman in our club road with him once a week right.

00:35:02 – 00:40:01

Also the kind of things people in the community can do to help. Caregivers people living with alzheimer’s or dementia and it’s good for us to reach out to help somebody. We actually get quite a bit in return at. Tell me about the gentleman from ireland. So paul john bayfield’s he’s from the uk. I had met paul at geographic. Maybe a year before and we had not really talked a lot so i didn’t really know historian lash a year. He was at national geographic. And he and i sat and had a nice long conversation he is in his thirty s and was the sole caregiver of his mother. Who had pick’s disease. I could not imagine being the sole caregiver of my parrot at that age. And they didn’t have family around and i don’t think they had a large network of friends in their area. He’s a freelance photographer. But he couldn’t afford to take jobs because if he left her he had to pay to have someone come in so his career was definitely affected by this. And i don’t think they had much financial support from her social security. Or what have you so. I had talked to our board during that week when he was in town and suggested. Can we help him out. We decided to give him a mentorship. Grant and sarah lean the former director of photography for national geographic magazine. She was going to mentor him. He had submitted the project prior. And it’s a beautiful project. It just wasn’t ready yet. She has been working with him trying to get a little bit more intimate images with his mother and more her things in her home and meme memorabilia stuff and he’d been documenting almost every day since she was diagnosed he had been traveling when she was diagnosed he came home. They discussed what the disease was and what they’re going to have to do and he said let’s do this documentation together. And he’s been documenting air from diagnosis on. It is really beautifully again as her sole caregiver. I felt such empathy for him. I wanted to give him some financial relief so we gave him a nice size grant so he could focus on that and focused on her and fortunately she passed away this year just recently in the last month and a half or so but i should go back. She was in a rehab home right when. Kobe started so they would not release her. They had to keep her in there and they were not financially prepared for that so they had to make that work and she definitely declined while she was in this home. She would not eat without paul. ’cause it’s just been the two of them. He’s her only child. The the nurses would call that. She’s just not eating. He had her put near a window and he brought a table to the other side of the window outside a folding table a chair a tablecloth a little vase and he would bring a full meal not mcdonalds but he would have a plate few tinsels in eight his meal on the other side of the window so she would eat and she always eight when he did and he did portrait’s of them eating together through the glass window. It’s just stunning. He’s been getting wonderful acknowledgement and press of this work. We’re still working on it. He’s still working with sarah and we want to continue the work. She has since passed but continue the work of her belongings that he is going through. I think he’s working towards getting into a book form to help others with whether it’s pick’s disease or other types of dementia but he’s been getting wonderful press and he’s just a beautiful person and such a loving and caring son when i met him. He had his arm in a sling because he had to shower her and they were in the shower together. And i don’t know if he just fell or they both fell but when he fell he broke his arm is just. It’s a sad story but also a beautiful story of their relationship and how he was able to do this project with her until the very end. But it’s one of the first documentations that i know of from diagnosis to death while also liked that it documents. The challenges of caring for people with alzheimer’s dementia disease In this insane cova time. Yes i am so grateful. My mom fell broke her leg and passed away on march thirty. First twenty twenty. Because i would always take her out. Her joy was to watch kits. Always joke that.

00:40:01 – 00:45:08

We are the creepy old ladies watching the kids. We’d watch kids at the pool so sometimes people look at me like I don’t know if you’re a little odd. But that’s what she loved. She was a mom. Grandma yeah what brought her joy. And that’s yeah. We go to different parks. ’cause i would get bored but that wasn’t an option and going in the care home wasn’t an option here we are. It’s been almost eight months since she died. And then it yeah. It’s like kinda laughed. My sister has a may birthday. And i you know snarky laugh to myself. He he he You have to have a cova birthday. But you know i’ll probably be. I’ll be in the clear so much. I can’t imagine what people are going through the ones who are still living with their loved one and may have kids at home still now too so they have their parent with dementia and kids in working from home. I i just could not imagine that stress. Unfortunately those people don’t have time to document this insanity unless that’s yeah one of the things after my father passed away and we put my mom in the care residents. It dawned on me because he’d he always did the typical annual christmas photo. And they’d come over to my studio and we would do the photo with them and the dog between my mom and the dog. It was like her and my dad wasn’t physically flexible in cooperative. If that makes sense to people you know i would try to get him in certain positions that were more flattering. And you know being my dad he just blew me away so it’s like no no no. I’ve ever sit like this then. I had to coax a smile out of my mom being a creative and being an artist. I always wanted to do something different. Which was a stupid way to think. But we didn’t get that in two thousand sixteen and it dawned on me not long after we moved her that if i didn’t keep photographing her she would effectively disappear from family history after he died. Now she died three years and basically a month after him so there wasn’t a huge amount of history but there was enough and i’ve been looking back on it thanksgiving last year and i had my mom had our oldest dog this year’s much but it’s just it’s important in really glad after my mom passed away you you and i did this with the dog too. It’s like i went and looked at all the pictures i took of her. And all of the little videos even the ones that i took like we were talking about offline i think about the videos of the non flattering. Yeah and ugly ugly side. Yeah and i. I looked down and i really had a sense of peace. Because i’m like. I really really really had a lot of success in bringing her joy because of course after people die. You’re like you know she was really really hard at the end. We moved and there’s just tired and stress and one time like not long before she fell and broke her leg. She told me to drop dead. She clawed my husband drew blood on him. That was his last interaction with her. So i’ve read recently that when we have an event or something happens if it ends on a negative note the whole thing is tainted in trying to help some people through some situations where it starts off negative but there are able to distract or deflect Turn the event around or distraction is a key word. Yeah there’s there’s some people. I’m talking to that. Their parents just yell and swear at them and they’re just very ugly and that’s really hard to deal with. I got a little bit but not nearly what these guys are dealing with. And this one gal just went off. Just she’d had the broke the camel’s back. She vented all of her stress and frustration and sadness at her poor mother and her mother actually stood there and took it which is pretty surprising for somebody with a broken brain and so it ended on a positive note so after reading this social media post i said when when we have an event that’s positive but it ends negative. They remember that negative. So take away from this that it started off very ugly understandably but it ended with some understanding and hugs. And i love us so your mom is going to remember that part of it. She’s gonna forget that you are ugly you know and i don’t say that as a negative thing because trust me. Yeah very difficult not to be. Sometimes yeah. I was trying to let her know that you know maybe not try to vent so harsh your mom again but you didn’t do permanent damage to ties back into what you guys are doing.

00:45:08 – 00:48:51

Yes the pictures can be a little challenging to look at. I mean they’re definitely not they’re not beautiful all the time our son rainbows now. Unfortunately but it really does help you. Educate the population and inform and make it less scary and yeah uber important. Thank you. I tell people that i lost my parents both of them within three months and it was tough. I was forty three. And i handled it better than i ever thought i could. I felt such depreciation. And i was so grateful that i had the parents that i had and that they were together that i celebrated them more. I warned them. Never in my dreams that. I think that i could have done that but my parents were the most giving people i knew and not just my brother sister and i but to their community around them and their friends and family they were very very giving people and i like to think that they taught me the gift of giving and this is my gift to them. Well it’s a wonderful gift. How can people. They’re hearing the story for the first time. How can they connect with you. Guys help you guys. Yeah so please go on our website. Which is bob and diane fund dot. Org were on social media as the same diane find and if you are into photography and you’re working on a project please please apply for the grant. We usually open submissions end of august early september and we announced the winner every november national caregivers month. So please consider that if you just appreciate it. Share it on your social media’s and wherever and if you know of a place to get it published you can reach out to my contact information’s on there do work really hard to get this work published worldwide if you wanna give. We are a five. Oh one c. Three and it’s the end of the year. Do you need a tax write off. There is a donation section on the website that is always appreciated so we could just keep giving more and bringing more visual awareness to this disease terrific. Thank you very much thank you. I really enjoyed this. I enjoyed talking to you when we first met over. Zoom and this time again. Head over to the bob and diane funds website where you can see. All of the past grant winners. Their images are touching as well as visually instructive. You can share many of the photos on your social media and perhaps this will help your friends and neighbors understand your unique responsibilities as a photographer. I would love to know if these photographs inspire you in any way at the very least i hope you are moved to document some of the good days your loved one will have to me. It’s important not to leave them out of your family’s visual history the realization up after my dad died it would be up to me to continue documenting my mom so that we would have a visual record of her was important. The end result for me was standing of just how much i did for her. And how much joy. She had our kid watching adventures. I know you can do the same. I will have some posts that include this year’s winner to mall shamas sows ron. I’m your host jennifer fink and i’ll be in your ears again next tuesday.