Yoga 4 Busy Caregivers
00:00:01 – 00:05:01
Welcome to fading memories a podcast with advice wisdom and Hope from caregivers, who have lived the experience and survived to tell the tale. Give us as your caregiver best friend. Today’s podcast is presented by Pago. Pago is the easiest way for you to monetize your podcast. Providing podcasters with a flat rate for ad space so you always know how much you get when you include an ad from pod go apply today to become a member and immediately be connected with advertisers that fit your audience. That’s pod. Go off, co co, and be sure to add fading memories in the, how to do here about pod go section of the application. Is it even possible to find time in a chaotic caregiving schedule to decompress to distress and take care of yourself. You’ll practice is probably something. You think, you don’t have time to start, but if you have five minutes, today’s guest can show you ways to help. Relieve stress, anxiety. And more. As we know, am controlling our stress and having time to relax and do things that we enjoy are crucial to our mental well-being, as well as our physical and mental help caregivers, do it to themselves to find time to manage stress. Relax and bring peace and joy into our daily lives after listening, to today’s guest, I’m sure you’ll find a way to find those five or ten minutes and make it a priority. Joining me today is Joe Brainard. She has taken care, giving, probably to the 4th degree, he had health issues with herself, some serious issues with her husband, and his health, a mom. And now she’s doing some elder care for her father and thankfully for us, she has lots of ideas off on self-care which we know we desperately need. So, thanks for joining me, Jo, it’s great to be there. Thanks for having me. You’re welcome. So, Joe is in Vermont and I am in California. We are experiencing vastly different types of weather today, but it’s true. It’s mud season here in Vermont. So it’s cold and rainy and very muddy is Calabash. I forgot what rain is. Unfortunately, I think I’m going to have to learn how to take not to start using those Rings Le swipes that are suggested for elders so that’s right else idea birth. The dry shampoo for my hair cuz I’m afraid that might actually be our reality. Yeah, I know. It’s terrible. It’s, it’s a great state. But we’re will have a dead serious year of rain and then we have like five years of like, no rain. So, that was very interesting. So why don’t you tell us your story? Your caregiving Journey began with your self correct? Yeah, it’s funny. I guess I never really think about it that way, but yeah, it’s the thing that put all the rest of it into perspective, I guess you could say that I was diagnosed. Well, let me say this. My husband had his an issue before I even did, so actually it did start with him in, mm. Mm, we were married in 2001 and in 2002, he was injured in a work accident. We both worked for light departments in Massachusetts, and he was a line worker working on a project dead. Was not electrocuted, but was burned very severely. So, really scary situation had to be med-flighted to the hospital and they measure Burns Pub in this certain scale. So it was actually 27% of his body that he had burns on second and third degree and so in and of course there’s the initial shock and all that goes along with that. But they’ve had follow-up surgeries to release skin contractures as the skin heals and scars at Titans. It restricts movement, it’s really uncomfortable. It was a long process. So matured the end of his whole healing, which I was very much a part of cuz they pretty much send you home. Sent me home. I should say just my, my story short, we had, we did have a nurse come in and help take care, but I had to do dressing changes, dressing changes had to happen twice a day and I had to do at least one a day and you know, scared at first but then it was like dead. Okay, I can, I can do this. Like, you just step up, right? You do what you have to do. So, so in the kind of in the middle of his stuff, he happened to be home between surgeries and we were walking outside, in our garden are poor.
00:05:01 – 00:10:47
Neglected Garden cuz we were so busy, doing everything else, taking care of him. And I was talking and I was gesturing to myself. And as I’m talking, I felt a lump in my breast is, I’m talking to him using my hands, so I get checked out. Yes, I have breast cancer. So now it’s the fall of the same year. Thankfully, he’s home because he’s recuperating so he has to take care of me. Now, as I recuperated, I had a mastectomy and went through chemotherapy, and thankfully, I’ve been fine since then. I did have some time off after that but I’m fine. Everything was going along great for several years. I just to stick this in here. I did start to get involved in yoga classes, which I really am. Joy and it was my work out hot sweaty, power classes sometimes twice a day like I was just really into it and then my husband had some really serious heart issues, totally out of the blue, very unexpected, really serious. And of course we were dealing with that and you know everything comes to a screeching halt when there’s an emergency and we thought he was on a trajectory to come back home. You know, serious had had his surgery, his quadruple bypass surgery, we thought okay, everything’s fine, he’s going to come home and I get a call log of the night that he was quoting and that they couldn’t stop him from coding. And now I was weird in the suburbs of Boston at that time and he was in a hospital in Boston. So they finally did get him back. Maintain him under control but they said that’s it. You’re going to get an implanted defibrillator and pacemaker. We’re not going to go through this again. So yep. Time to come back from that. Yeah. It was really was a lot, you know, like you think you, you know, best laid plans, you have this plan, this is how it’s going to go, and I know how everything’s going to be, and it’s never goes that way. So dead. So he came home and I was, you know, that’s it twenty-four-seven. I got to take care of this person. So people would you know, say to me, you know, I came to the studio, try to go out for a walk. No, no, no, I got to do know, I have so much to do. I have things to do? So finally, I did my make my way back and when I did it was just like a big sigh of relief, you know, that they’re space for me that there’s there’s time in a space for me and there has to be because when there’s not I fall apart and my practice changed a lot after that because I didn’t need the racing around. I had enough of that everywhere else and I, you can get that in other places at the gym or walking or running or whatever. But let’s see. So it’s probably dead. Is five or six years after that. Again, you know, life goes on, everything’s fine. I would say like, kind of boring and then my mom got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s thought, so and they’re in another state. So, we’re again, we are in Massachusetts and they were in Connecticut. My, my mom and my dad and my dad thankfully is very healthy and can handle everything. But I, you know, the decline happened and, you know, right around 2018-2019. He was never asking for help. But, you know, we were seeing we were seeing changes in her being stormed, get scary, then she was reading stuff on the wall, like she’d standard front of a blank wall or a, or a picture and she read as if he was reading something off, then she’d get really upset about it or she look at like a her thing was like tissues and paper towels and Kleenex has and she would you know stare at them for hours and hours and then be very upset and like there’s dead. Can’t even take anything away, because there’s nothing to take away, you know what I mean? So, it was so hard and, you know, we tried for months to get him to get inside help. And he really didn’t want anybody and I was able to go on FMLA. I was still working full-time at that point and that was great. I was traveling down a couple of times a week doing what I could do to help out. And it was then it was really getting challenging was getting challenging for him. He’s eighty-five eighty-six, trying to help her go to the bathroom, and take a shower and stuff. He can’t be doing that. And I mean, I could do it, but I can’t be there all the time. So we were able to get some help a couple of days a week in. And then, the decline just happened passed. So we did have her go into a nursing home in 2019 after the years are so crazy. Yeah, 2019, this lack cuz last year like evaporated so and then she did pass on New Year’s, Thursday, this, this year 2021 with covid-19 There soon.
00:10:47 – 00:15:01
But yeah, it’s been a lot. So I’m just tired of just listening to the whole story. It’s been a lot but yeah. And I guess the point is I thought to see the caregiving right from both sides, I it was it to me it was much harder to watch somebody else go through something and just struggle with them cuz you can’t help you can’t solve everything whereas if it’s it’s you I don’t know. I felt like I could put it aside, maybe it’s different for other people but the harder part for me was caring for somebody else and you know I mean all of that I got my yoga certifications and everyone thought. Oh you know yoga for cancer. Will be your specialty, right? You know, I practice without my breasts for my I teach without my breasts Farm home and I said, no, I think I would work with caregivers. They’re the people that nothing to keep the people who have cancer, don’t need it but they have a lot of resources and caregivers. I don’t know. People forget about birth. And it’s hard. So I really wanted to, to be there to support that population, which is fantastic. I find two things, especially with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. When you real life, as my person needs more help, they need me to pay more attention to do more things. It’s not that difficult, you know, you like my mom, we had a family business together and I would have, she would forget to write details on orders, his really frustrate and I would hear her basically chewing the fat with a client and I would basically poke my head in shame. So, what are we doing for Joe today? And and kind of insert myself into the conversation that was my, hopefully settle way of making sure that I knew what was going on and off kind of connecting with the clients. So that it just kind of let me like supervise the whole thing without being like supervisory, right? And it was challenging especially when home Cuz when we had a photography studio, so if I was in doing portraits and she talked to, I mean, she could talk to a client for an hour while I was doing all that stuff. And, you know, it’s not like come out, it’s like, oh, what are we doing for us to call them? You know, and it just it got I didn’t realize how stressful it was, until my Dad announced. I knew our lease was up in 2005, but it was the fall off. He was always battling with the landlords who, you know, they were, they were typical commercial, landlords pay rent. Shut up. And don’t ask for anything. And so, he always had some battle with him, which, you know, life is already complicated enough. I didn’t think that, that was a healthy healthy way to proceed through life. So we kind of had a rapid escalation of them retiring and I think part of that was because of my mom and he he had chronic health issues. So you know you you’re taking care of somebody and the next thing you know you’re up to your neck and holy crap, I’m dead. You know, don’t I need help or you end up with a medical crisis, either them, or you something happens. And then you like, oh maybe I should get some help and it’s like now, it’s kind of late. Yeah, but I always tell people, you know, when your loved one gets a diagnosis or when you suspect cuz like my mom was mid-stage before we actually got the official diagnosis because she was on the denial path off. When, you know, there’s a problem, put a care team together. One for, you know, like a lot of people like, well, you know, my wife doesn’t want other people in the house. Well, that’s great. They you can hire, you know, get your especially after the The 20/20. You know, you can have groceries delivered and you can you know, hire a housekeeper. So what I suggest people do is make a list of tasks that have to get done every day and set it aside for a day or so, add to it. As you know, new things come up and maybe yep. You add to it for a week, so that an entire week of basically, maintaining your life is jotted down and then look at it and go, what can I doubt, Source? Grocery shopping, you know, that’s not that difficult.
00:15:01 – 00:20:07
You’re in order them online, they bring them to the door. It’s great. Maybe like my dad was in the cook. So my sister put together like slow cooker meals that were in the fridge. It was literally like, dump turn on the slow cooker, you’re done, which is fantastic and it’s also kind of safer because slow cookers are hoes the safety risk of a stove and all things with Alzheimer’s. So I’m always telling people there’s ways of getting help, don’t include, you know, it’s like you may not want to do all the Hands-On stuff, but if somebody else is taking care of your yard and your grocery shopping and you’re cooking and you can do the Hands-On stuff, right? And he’s your person into accepting help but somebody. Don’t ask for help until it’s too late and it makes me insane. Yeah, yeah, I know. And you know there’s nothing you can do when they when they don’t want to do it either. And so I would go down and I would be with my mom, while my dad would go to the doctor and do his errands and stuff like that. And, you know, they tried to do that with earlier, with some neighbors and my mother had this, you know, big pride thing. I don’t need a babysitter and I thought it was a, it was a bad scene. So, so this way it was more like I was visiting with her, you know. So it was a little different. And then by that time too, she was she was aware than she had been previous. So yeah, it’s a year situation perfectly. I’m not sure what the right word is. But the perfectly demonstrates. What I’m suggesting is, like, how people do all the other stuff. I agree in that way. It doesn’t look like you’re bringing in a babysitter. Yeah. Right, right. Yeah. Because by the time we had to, we had to like we needed somebody there to to do that other stuff with her birth. Yeah, we tried to make it, you know, be as non-disruptive as possible, but it’s, it’s hot in every day is different and, you know, all of that stuff. And I got to see because I was coming out of state and I stayed over. I got to see a lot of stuff that a lot of other people didn’t see, you know, everyone, they would see her at a dinner and they fine, you know, for a couple of hours sitting next to my dad and I say that we go home and I’ll go to bed and I can hear her. Cuz her thing was the schedule, keeping the calendar, and she for, for an hour. She’d say, to my dad what time is Joanne leaving tomorrow, what time am I going? Where you going to be? What are we going to eat when we going to? And then it would stop and then it would start again, you know? So yeah, you know, we all have our stories, right? Yeah. Well, try to demonstrate and I being not a millennial. I didn’t do a lot of like, video. Like I’ve watched Instagram stories about, you know, daughters taking care of mom’s birthday. Granddaughters, taking care of grandmas and and man, they record everything like my mother would have murdered me like for what did I did read but I have some examples of what took Advanced Alzheimer’s. Looks like she would walk behind me. I mean, I must have looked like the biggest jerk. We always went to the park to watch kids. That’s what she did. That’s what that’s what made visiting with her birth mentally doable for me. Cuz if I didn’t, she would literally asked me every two minutes, so, what have you been up to lately? Absolutely, it was, I mean, it almost sounded like a parrot. Yeah, well, you know, once you I would always visit on Mondays and this was back in the old days. I would go to the gym and I’d go home and shower and dress, and go to my Rotary meeting, and then I would go and visit her. So, when she’d asked the question, I am basically, I would answer first. I went to the gym and did X, then she asked me again. Oh, well, we I had our Rotary meeting, and then she asked me if their time well at Rotary today, is so-and-so, talked about X. And then the forest time, Well, I went to the gym and then I went to Rotary and now I’m here visiting with you. And then the fifth time, while, you know, I’ve been busy this morning, but I decided to come and spend the night with you, you know. Well, now I’ve run out of things to write I was like, holy crap, you know, like he’s parsed my life into little tidbits and it’s still not enough. So we would go to the park but she would walk behind me like significantly, twenty or thirty feet. And if I slowed down, she would slow down and watch her feet. So she, she was absolutely a hundred percent ambulatory. She didn’t have any balance issues, but she would avoid Shadows or any place where the sidewalk was like, if you know, the sprinklers had gotten part of it. When she would try to avoid that, she would try to avoid stepping on her own shadow, which was hysterical, but frustration because can avoid your own shadow. Try. It’s not possible. And you know, it’s like it’s not just memory loss people, you know, like one day I showed up and she she was telling me off. We’re getting ready to leave the bathroom. Okay? And they had a like public bathroom in the memory care and so I would open the door and go. Okay, here you go. And then see the stare at me like, what am I supposed to do? I’m like, okay, great. We’re at that point today. Okay. So then I would escort her in and basically, verbally walk her through it and then literally the next week, she’s standing there.
00:20:07 – 00:25:02
And I’m like, oh great. If his just fun thing with her clothes, I’m like, if I help her with her clothes, she’s going to scratch me. Cuz that was, she got really combative him with claw people. And I was like, so, like literally pulled her pants down. And thankfully, I have kind of crap, knees. So I can’t like squat all the way down like twenty-somethings and I just, I just waiting for it, but she thankfully didn’t. And then we left. We went to a park and it was a nice afternoon, but hikes, you know, it’s just yeah. And she was, I laugh now because she would literally take about 4 feet of toilet, paper and accordion. Live and then lock it in her hand and she had it stuffed everywhere in her purse in her dresser drawers. You know, not that sort of using the height of the, the toilet paper shortage last mean, it was clean. But, you know, it had been handled. It was just like, crazy weird. It’s like yeah, why are you? You’re like, we were going to the dentist one day. I desperately, trying her to get her to throw away. This four feet of bolded. Toilet paper that was like locked into her fist and she, and I’m like, what’s in your hand? It’s like off hand and she’s like, looking at the one that this. I’m like yeah, you know, and you were talking about, you weren’t sure if it was covid-19. From she fell and broke her leg. So she technically stopped eating and drinking. So the first line of the cause of death was medical terms. I had to look up on Google that pays off if she died from not eating or drinking as a result of advanced Alzheimer’s. I’m like good. Now, I don’t gotta fight with the county to get this corrected cuz to me it’s a historical document. She died of birth ex when she had Alzheimer’s for twenty years. I mean it’s like right? Like, I don’t know. Yeah. They were saying, well, somebody’s hit by a bus and they but they were marketed down. They died from covid-19. Well yeah, we’re going to make sure that her death certificates. Correct. Right? Right. Yeah. So what so you’ve used yoga as your self care, how? So tell me how you would share that with caregivers and how it can benefit. Caregivers, I know. Personally I need to do I need to do a slightly more accounting workouts and I’ve Power Yoga I have to get back into that song. More, just because it’s a stress release. Like, we don’t do a work out five, six days a week. I get really nasty. It’s not very. We definitely need to move and have a cardiovascular workout for sure, right. So, but what has happened with me is I ended up shifting away from getting that in the yoga studio because I did couldn’t always get there, right easier to just walk or run, or something outside. But what ended up happening was because I was how I got specifically here talking about today, is because I was driving back and forth so much. I mean, it was so busy during, you know, 2019, especially working full time traveling to it once or twice a week to see my parents and keeping everything, you know, and teaching, and this business was, you know, just a side thing. At that time, keeping everything going. It was a large I would say the caregivers, they have their own life and then they have to manage somebody else’s life because a lot of times, when you’re caring for somebody else, depending on what their situation is your their brain for like their calendar, and they’re finding jobs and everything else. You’re you’re living to live? There’s a lot to manage one is hard enough. So so I was just not taking care of myself, you know? I was, I was, I thought I had it all down cuz I thought I would get my, you know, Starbucks and I would have my granola bar. And I had a whole routine and I would stop and go to the store and pick up whatever they needed and pick up whatever I needed. And, and I had this down and I was proud of myself, but then I just realized that it was a little bit of a treadmill and it was not a healthy situation for me. I had no idea what was going on, like the Box users were changing, I didn’t know, like, except for am. I turning my head lights on sooner on this drive or you know, is it raining? That’s about it. In terms of what I knew what was going on with the weather and everything else. So I was home On a lot of stuff. And instead of denying myself, I said I can’t, like, you can do that for a couple of weeks or a couple of months. If you have to write, there’s an emergency in your family, you will do what you need to do, but that is not a long-term sustainable way to live at all.
00:25:02 – 00:30:03
You’re going to burn out and then you’re going to crash and burn and then nobody has helped because you’re not available to do anything else. So, you know what I wanted to do is work with people and say, let’s try to find little spaces during your day, where you can take a breath, where you can close your eyes for a minute wage and collect your thoughts cuz I found, you know, with this whole routine that I had driving and everything, I would I’d say this is great. I’m getting everything done then. I’d say, oh my gosh, I I’m so like I’m doing so much that I forgot to do this. Really basic thing, I forgot to pick up the main thing. I went to the store for whatever it might be because we’re scattered, right? We don’t we’re not focused or centered so long. That’s what I wanted to do is bring those opportunities to people because you don’t need an hour, you don’t even need a half hour if you have the ability to take, you know, one breath. And I mean like to go behind the bathroom door cuz sometimes that’s what you need to do, right for because you can’t leave your personal own and maybe it’s when their back is turned for one. Second that you could close your eyes, and take a mind, full breath that. You can gather yourself a little bit and to work that into your day cuz that’s another thing too. If you try to save up your your movement practice or the time that you’re really going to focus on yourself off or when you can do it. You’re lucky if you get it in once a week or so, so why not kind of pepper it throughout your day when you can, when you have a moment or two and do it that way, and then, you know, you often times cuz I’ve been there too, there are days that you don’t even have the ability to do that. But I’m trying to find some different things that work for people, things that work for me and I think they work for other people to Thursday. Sitting right next to my favorite fuzzy blanket here and it’s reminding me about as I was folding the laundry a couple of weeks ago. I hate folding laundry. It’s just like, it’s in the basket and I, I, I didn’t cuz folding it means putting it away. And I I said, how can I make this a better exercise? I usually empty the dishwasher when I call my dad in the morning and at night because I that’s another task. I don’t like doing. So I’m distracted and then then by the time I hang up with him it’s done and it wasn’t like didn’t take anything away from my day. So folding this bass laundry. I just thought my favorite fuzzy sweater like I love this fuzzy sweater. It got me through so much this winter and you know I when I just look at it, I say oh I’m going to have that kind of day today, you know, sweatpants my fuzzy sweater. And then I had my husband’s genes and they, you know, the belt loops are all pulled off and there’s holes in them but they’re like they’re rough compared to my fuzzy sweater and home. Like, you know, these jeans, protect him as he works outside and, you know, every piece of clothing had a story. And I had a moment to just think about and be grateful for this clothing that protects us every day, and even an exercise like that can help you. Because if every task you do for yourself and then as your caregiver is something is trying to check off and get off the list. Like that’s a hard life for again. We can do it for a couple of weeks, a couple of months. Like that’s just a hard way to live long, long term. So these are like the the different little opportunities that we look for. So what I’m offering right now, I have a a membership that involves yoga mindfulness breathwork and postures. I really like hand, postures crazy things that you can do. While you’re like sitting watching TV with your person or or accompanying them somewhere at the waiting of the doctor’s office, or things like that. And there are dead. Live and recorded movement classes. As you might imagine with yoga, but then there are also off the map classes that are things that you can do. Anywhere that are little interesting practices that can bring a sense of common centering to your day and then we also have the community as it turned out this past year, I wasn’t expecting this. But with everyone being locked in and not be able to do much, they were missing a sense of community so my members wanted to get together and have we have a book club nail monthly book club and we also have just a Meetup where we just get together and talk on a specific topic. So most of the people I work with people taking care of their parents teachers, right? Our caregivers, we forget about that parents. There’s really need all manner of of people, always little different individual situations, but we all have the same thing in common so yeah, it’s nice. Everybody’s caregiving journey is different but dead There’s just a Common Thread and I like, what you’re suggesting, where you pepper in little mindfulness, or movement practices throughout your day, cuz the mental visualization I got was like, that’s like a release valve because I know it did not well first off.
00:30:03 – 00:35:01
My mom thought I was her best friend, which was totally fine. You know, it’s like I had lost a ton of weight, so I had suspected that the person that she remembered wasn’t the person that I looked like any more. So I had sort of an a little bit more of a gentle easing into knowing that she didn’t remember who I was our relationship was, you know, being her best friend. That’s can’t complain about that one. But she was still so good at. Pushing that nerves button. Like, I know you wouldn’t do this to your friend, like, why are you doing that? I’m your friend is driving crazy and so there was still somehow that that mother-daughter like relationship just like you know, so when we were at Birth, Park and she’d be a little bit weird or say something that just was like baffling. It was easy enough to just like, put my head back on the bench. And look at the trees and the sky and home deep breaths and like, listen to, like, close your eyes, and listen to the kids playing, and listen to what’s going on. And it was always relaxing and I’m thinking, man, I really should have tried some yoga while my mom was watching them, but you did because you had it off the mat. That’s your time off the map cuz we don’t always have the ability to have, you know, specific set aside time off the map. I always used to say when I was staying over there, that I’ll do something right before I go to bed, I feel exhausted, right? You know, the the you’re tired at the end of the day and that’s what ends up happening to is, you’re so tired that then you’re like, wound up and can’t sleep that sometimes happens or you’re just dropping to bed. Like, there’s no way that you can do anything and for the, for the first problem where you’re dead. Your body is still, but everything else is churning. We also do a Yoga Nidra practice, which is a, a guided meditation for relaxation. It’s, it’s considered like Yom sleep and it brings you into a state between being awake and being asleep. Just a really, really relaxed State and it’s a nice way to drift off into sleep if you’re having trouble going there. So, that’s a practice that we do once a month as well. So, yeah. So what other off the mat techniques? Can you describe audibly? Cuz we are going to do a little practice that you guys were going to have to catch on YouTube because this is audio but you know, I can see each other just flying through Zoom. But what other suggestions cuz I always when I’m home, I’m making dinner emptying the dishwasher folding clothes doing chores. I listen to podcasts. So yes, you find other things to do which I’m going to try. Because as soon as I woke My earbuds in cuz my hair is long enough. My husband will come in and serve other than, like, dude earbuds in. So I can’t see them on, like, they’re white. My hair is not covering my ears. Completely looks like it’s dead. He hasn’t had enough outside time in the last year. Is driving me bananas. Oh, you were talking about in a related note, you were talking about how long, you know, we just kind of like checking off the to-do list constantly and I have had to step back from that. I am a very organized, very planning kind of person. So 2020 was L. I thought you couldn’t plan practically passed today, which was really hard for me. And I got into a routine and I’ve gotten into a routine so I can do all the things that I want. But then I started finding. It’s like, but I am to do X, but I’m also, I need to do why, and I was starting to stress myself out, trying to do everything that I wanted to do. And like, okay, I just need to like, chill. Yeah, yeah. No to do list. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and I’ve started doing that too. I’ve started unplugging on Friday nights and going light for the rest of the weekend. I tell my dad I you know, obviously I will look at my phone and make sure that you haven’t called or anything. I silence that I don’t turn it off but it’s been really nice because just to get away from all the, all the stuff that’s really not that important. I mean, when I do that, I end up making a little mental priority list. Obviously if he called, you know, that would be something that I would answer and address. But, you know, the other notifications that my favorite book is now available or that you know somebody posted on Facebook. Like I don’t that’s not stuff that I need to respond to right away. So it takes it takes a load off for sure. But yeah, you know I think one of the we’ll do a couple we’re going to build a couple of right into the the on the map practice as well but again I try to find the ones that that you can kind of dog. In front of other people because sometimes you don’t have the ability to get behind a closed door, or a quiet moment in the during the day, if you do take advantage of it. But, you know, just something as simple as placing your hand on your heart and you can put one hand on top of the other hand.
00:35:01 – 00:40:07
And I mean, my eyes automatically want to close when I do that. And if you’re in a place where your person’s safe and you’re safe and you can close your eyes and tuned into what’s going on inside because, you know, you described it perfectly where everything’s going on around us. And I think as caregivers we become the planner and the appointment maker and Page the caretaker and the cleaner and the cooker and and we have all these other labels and we forget like what who we are like before we came into this whole roll and that that gesture and and especially being able to close my eyes, brings me back to that place. That’s under my hands to, you know, that little inner spark, that’s always there and I said, Oh yeah, that’s right. I’m still in here. I’m still in here. I’ve got to do these other things today. These other things don’t Define me because I know two different times and caregiving, we can get really resentful, right. That we have to do all this stuff and our person might not appreciate it, or they might not even know that we’re doing it. Or other people might not appreciate it because not only are we dealing with the person but everybody else who’s got their own feedback about how how? Well, or not, well, we do our job, so it can be a lot and I find that that brings me back to me, something like that. Brings me back. That sounds lovely. One of the other things I try to tell caregivers and I mentioned it and I don’t know if you caught my mom had Alzheimer’s for twenty years and when you start and it’s not so hard and you make some adjustments and then you know, it’s been three years, it’s been five years. And now your neck deep, in all of that stuff that you know, Mentioned, this is why I tell people they need to learn all of these things, you know, life is for the living. And yes, you need to take care of them but you need to take care of yourself or else, you will not be any good to yourself when they’re gone, right? Or worse. I think it’s 65% of caregivers end up hospitalized or dead before the person they’re caring for. Yeah, because they don’t take care of themselves, they put off medical appointments, the stress, the mental, and physical stress is so great, that their body just says, I’m done. Right? And we, you know, we can’t do that to ourselves. I mean, my maternal grandfather always said, you know, get out of this life alive and I am not suggesting that somebody with alzheimer’s or cancer or heart problems is less than us, but we can’t make us less than them and I see varieties. Yes, yes, yeah. It’s it’s and it’s a really difficult thing to balance. So yep. I like that. You said you know just put your hand on your heart and breathing, you can do that while you’re sitting on the toilet or something. Which it’s a little weird but it’s okay, whatever you gotta do. It’s true, it’s true. No, but my friend Colleen has a great movement exercise while you’re sitting on the toilet. I mean, I just again you find this this these pieces of time that you have because some days you just don’t have it and go for it. I love that. I like the practices to that you can do like, sitting in a car, you know, at a stop light where you’re not, maybe not closing your eyes or anything or in between, you know, you’re an errand cuz that’s, you know, I’d be running these errands to go to my parents house and I’d have I probably had the opportunity at that time, a minute in the car before I started it to do something else. So that’s the those are the types of things that we’re looking for. So what what would you do for the quick minute in the car, before you dashed to the next shop? So the weather dead Was favorable. I would definitely roll down the window, the the air. And actually before you get in the car mean, if it’s really nice out, if it’s like where you live and you can be out in the air song being out with sunlight hitting your closed. Eyelids is so good for you. You know vitamin D aside just the mental reset that that offers is really wonderful. And I mean, I think I might you wouldn’t even I was going to say put my seat back you wouldn’t need to do that because somebody’s going to say, you know, I don’t know how my seat is organized. I wouldn’t want to be able to put it back in the same in the same place and I get that. So I wouldn’t even put my seat back but I would put the window down and I would just close my eyes for just a moment. And we’re going to do a a hand posture mudra, a hand gesture, during our our practice and there are so so many that you can do and they’re dead. There are things that you find that you do with your hands anyway, and one of my favorites is this one can show it to you this way. My two hands are together like Like a Prayer, right? My two hands are together but then if I make them space between them and bring the thumbs together, the length of the thumbs together and then just rest that in my lap, like that’s a pretty comfortable position for your hands.
00:40:07 – 00:45:03
This is a hand posture phone number balance, and maybe, you know, on that day, where you’re racing around, your life is way waited too much in the rushing, and in the giving end of things and something like this bringing your hands together, like this in your lap. Like, even if somebody saw it, they don’t, they don’t know what you’re doing and you could close your eyes if that felt great. And you could just sit for a moment and think about feeling each of these fingertips touching every other finger tip, and how there’s equal pressure from one side to the other and rest home. In that balance just for a moment cuz maybe that’s the only moment of balance you get in your whole day, right? But you had that. You had that sounds terrific. Yeah, so are we ready to move on to our part to? I think so. Okay so he’s been fantastic. And for those of you who are listening all of the stuff we’re about to do. Next will be on the YouTube channel cuz it’s just something that she can demonstrate verbally. So we’re trying something a little different today. I do have a friend, that’s really trying to get me to do live stream podcasts. But as I was telling, Joe, before we started recording my husband, and I are trying to take a three-week road trip this summer, and I don’t want to be tied down to a specific date time to do stuff so often right? Well that’s the beauty of all this online stuff, right? Whether it’s your people listening, my people participating in my classes as well, that’s the whole point. You can take them in the middle of the night. If you’re awake, you can listen to a podcast, no matter what you’re doing down to you date, really wonderful opportunity for us. That’s one of the reasons that I started the podcast. A lot of people do know this but for benefit I was searching for ways to connect and have better visits with my mom because as we were talking about earlier, she’d asked me the same questions. So I wanted to tell my head on the wall which stem not good for my brain and I am a reader love to read but you can only read books on caregiving for, I mean, first off, you’re trying to absorb the information and secondly, it’s just, it’s a lot, it’s heavy. And so it would take weeks to or, you know, maybe not weeks plural, but a couple two or three weeks to get through one book where it’s generally a fiction book, I would read it in a week or less and one day I was at the gym back in the old days and I had this, you know, it’s called a flathead moment when you smack yourself on the head and go off. Earlier and I because I can’t see without glasses. I wait until I got home and went on my computer and looked for a podcast for Alzheimer’s, caregivers, and this was late, a 2017? And there was one and unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, it’s hard, kind of depends on which way you want to look at it. It was not my cup of tea, and I was listening to One called side, hustle school. It was literally 10 to 12 minutes, which is exactly how long it took me to get to the gym, and they did a bonus episode on. Starting your own podcast, I was like, well, I think I could here we are. We’re about a year episode will Air in season 4, which starts in May. Wow, but yeah, and I have a whole crate full of Alzheimer’s books and I do read through them and look through them still off. But I have learned so much from my guests even in this last year since my mom’s passed away, I’ve learned a lot and I’m like, well if I’m still learning things than my listeners are learning things and so I loved Do you meet everybody is unique story. Like, obviously have not talked to somebody who’s been through your specific challenges, which is probably a good thing. I’m sure you don’t wish that on to too many people and it sounds like everybody’s doing. Okay. Alexa for Mom but you know, that’s like I said we don’t all get us life alive, you know? She she she didn’t she didn’t die at a young age. That’s good. Yes. And you know everybody I’m always surprised at how people who’ve gone through this caregiving experience. Create something new yoga for caregivers apps, books podcasts, missing something. But you get the point thing everything. Yeah, it’s true. It’s true. And if we can help each other I think that’s meaningful because I think we all have a idea of what it’s going to be like and then we go through it and it’s not the way we thought. Like I just want to do that job. Yeah. And it’s and who who else you’re going to talk to? Cuz a lot of times, you know, people who who aren’t familiar with this, they don’t understand they and they don’t appreciate all that we have to do. So yeah, it’s nice to have em have that Community. Well terrific. Okay, so this ends the audio podcast.
00:45:03 – 00:50:00
There is a link in the show notes to the YouTube video that we’re going to create now wage. But I’m speaking in the future. Now that’s a real brain twist cuz I plan things into the future and then somebody will say, they’ll ask me a question I’m like oh this week’s episode is on XO number. That’s two weeks for me. Yes, right. Bring myself back to like today. And with this pandemic, it’s like this week has been a little weird and so I keep thinking, but yes, she is Friday and about today. Spreading out today is not Fridays Thursday. It’s been very, very weird. Here I’ll be very glad when we can have some normality. I’m not going back to the gym. We have a dog. Time, which they do have yoga classes, which I’ve done great. But I’m looking forward to like rotary meetings outside or somebody else brings food and not on zooms. Yes, I think that there there’s a lot of real estate between being on Zoom, a hundred percent and The Way We Were and, and with the weather getting nicer for everybody, that that’s doable for sure. That’s true. And I, I just read a really interesting article and went through this out there because I think everybody should think about. This is the disability Community has benefited tremendously from so much of our Lives going online, because it’s accessible where, as a lot of buildings, restaurants, hotels, whatever, not necessarily accessible and traveling with a helper job is challenging, you know, it’s just it just erases a lot of their challenges. So I’m hoping like I know my Alzheimer’s, caregiver support group. A lot of people have said, when we go back to in person, And can we also do the streaming because sometimes it’s just really hard to get out of the house. Yes, yeah. And it would be good. Inclement weather. Like there’s so many reasons. Yeah, yeah. We haven’t had to inclement weather this year in California. The other places people who, who watch or participate from far away, right? Or or they have a situation in their house where they can’t leave you know you’re just you’re just tires cuz it’s been a rough day but you need to talk to somebody, you know, it’s a great option. I’ve gotten really in the habit of doing like listening to the rotary meetings and doing stuff on my computer, so it’s off really. Yeah. There’s some benefits I don’t know if like that multitasking is good for my brain but you know or you can put your earbuds in and wander around the house and fold clothes. Yes or walk the dog. I walked the dog during a meeting once that was fun, or the dogs more than once, right, right. Okie dokie. Well, I appreciate this. You guys definitely check out the YouTube video cuz you know it’s going to be dead. Tons and tons of help for all of us. Caregivers. Yeah, thank you so much for this opportunity. Yeah, so I’ll see you in a little bit okie dokie. My YouTube channel is linked in the show notes, just scroll on down and click on it and you’ll take be taken right to the channel and you’ll be able to see exactly what Joe demonstrates wage for caregivers. And if you need a little extra inspiration for tuning into that one, I am disturbed by a cute, little fuzzy family member and you will see how Joe Rogan right through this Interruption keeps going because it demonstrates how she would help you deal with an interruption from a loved one. That isn’t cute and fuzzy Walsh over there. Make sure to subscribe and you might even want to hit the little bell icon. So you get notified of whenever I upload new videos, which do you happen to be every week. But occasionally, I do share wage. Bonus content that is video only, so never know. I’m always surprising myself. So surprising you as well coming up next week, is my very first episode with my second new co-host you’ve heard from him before. Dr. Christopher Howard and we are debuting the narrow Power Hour and we’re going to be talking about food as a way of helping support brain health you are totally not going to want to miss that and then actually I’m taking the week off from Memorial Day because this girl has put out a ton of episodes in the last three-plus years time for a little break and it’ll give you a chance to get caught up on anything. You need to re listen to or anything, you might have missed. So make sure you take care of that. After the break, we are going to have two fantastic episodes. One on a study that will help you learn pause song. Coping skills and the other one is on 8ft and you’re just going to have to tune it and find out what that means Beyond, electronic fund transfer. Cuz that’s not what it is. Is once again I’ll be in your ears again next Tuesday.